How We Make Connections Through Touch

A Hug Deli in the Desert

A funny thing happened on the way to the Playa, (the sprawling desert playground that is home to Burning Man, a yearly event where revellers from all walks of life celebrate creative self-expression): We happened upon a deli. A deli in the desert by any stretch of the imagination might be considered a curiosity. But this deli was like no other. There were no meats or cheeses, no sandwiches to purchase. Instead, hugs were the order of the day.

As we stood in line with our compliments hanging on the tips of our tongues, ready to order our favorite hug - or to test our penchant for less desirable hugs and side orders (It takes a special person to order a side of “tickle.”) - we started thinking about the extraordinary power of a hug and the universal need for human touch.

A good hug, one that feels emotionally rewarding to both sides, requires a certain vulnerability from both parties. The worst hug may be the hug without the feeling of love or vulnerability on one side. When you experience either, you feel it. But a good hug can create a genuine connection between two (sometimes more) people.

Pilates is for Huggers

Not everyone loves a free hug or a hug paid for with compliments, but we all need human touch, and that human touch often can be found in the Pilates Studio.

Pilates people generally have a reputation as “huggie” people. It makes sense that we should greet each other - whether client or fellow teacher - with a big embrace before a session. It’s an expression of the excitement of seeing a friend again as well as the anticipation of the work that is about to happen.

Within the lesson or workout itself, we use the power of touch to encourage, to move, to guide, to support, to assist, and to congratulate. In order to get the most out of our clients and out of our teaching, we require vulnerability on the part of our students, and we require it of ourselves. We often have to break down our own emotional and psychological barriers to give our clients our best work.

The Power of Intention

A Pilates studio can be a safe space for creating a connection through touch. A person in pain may feel comfortable with someone touching them only in the unique environment of a Pilates studio where the touch cueing is intentional and purposeful and deliberate. (And we always seek permission for touch cueing.) Having a human connection can be transformative for someone who feels isolated - due to life circumstances or due to the physical or emotional pain they experience in daily life. It may even help them in dealing with their isolation or pain and help them overcome it.

For someone who is resistant to touch, for whatever reason, they may experience meaningful connection through touch as they are assisted in an exercise. And the support and encouragement they feel through the touch cues might surprise them. It may be a first step to breaking down emotional or physical barriers that keep them from progressing through Pilates or sharing information that informs your teaching. It’s not for certain, but it’s possible that the vulnerability to touch may also translate outside the studio as they begin to feel the necessity and power of touch.

Through purposeful, intentional touch, Pilates can create a meaningful and positive human connection that everyone can carry with them beyond the studio. You don’t even need a Hug Deli in the desert. But if you find one, let us know.

Pilates Anytime is bringing a unique version of the Hug Deli to the PMA Conference 2018. Bring your compliments, we'll have freshly baked hugs, ready to order!