Pilates Plus Psyche

Chapter 1

Extrovert vs. Introvert

Have any of you had familiarity with Julian therapy or union typology? Anybody here [inaudible] fan has, it has a little of me. You Ha you have that. It's not a brand new idea to you. To me. Yeah, because it's just what we are. It's it's, it's how we're born. I don't know who decides that if anything decides that accident or just, but you come in as a baby and your psych is already set as far as I typology goes.

So what you do with that and what you develop into is all your, it's up to you and God and and, and creative imagination in life, but, but you will have a structure that is going to determine how you learn and what's hard for you to learn and why you're so Deb about some things and you, you, you really are not, not too crazy or neurotic. It's just that it's so deep in the unconscious that you can't get to it until the second half of life. So very good for people in their thirties especially because you think you surely screwed up. It never going to be all right. New Thirties, when, when the depth of yourself starts to try to protest and nothing makes sense anymore. You don't know what you're supposed to do or be and, and that's the right way to live. Your thirties and, and uh, one, one of the PMA conferences, uh, we been in Danville then we were in New Orleans in a big quip group there and girl stands up and said, would you repeat what you said last year in Denver about what it's like to be in your thirties and the world she has of me, I'm supposed to remember the uh, oh, I said, do you mean that in your thirties, you're digging through mountains? Yay. The whole place. Yes. Applauded. So many of them were in their thirties. And who's in their thirties? Here? One, two, three. No, not that you, you, you're not 30 yet. What's your age? 19 well, you know, you could be very precocious and, and if she's turned out to be an intuitive type, she knows everything already.

She just can't be it until you just gradually evolve. But you know it all ahead of time and it isn't that enough. But it is, it's all you have. I mean, um, but 19 you shouldn't. Well I don't, thinking back to when I was 19, I probably was the most profound person I've ever been. I knew that I needed to know about God, what was the meaning of life? I needed to know it now and I've expected someone that I could find out. And, and I, I just, uh, overall those big questions, I had a nervous breakdown and I, there was no way in the world I was going to ever satisfy that quest for meaning and, and um, it was so intense. So I decided, well I won't be a philosophy teacher to all our, we are, we go into theater cause I was always in plays. Oh my life. And, and so, um, it was, it was the right thing to do that that time I was very extroverted and, and that's another thing you come in with as a baby, you're going to be either an introvert or an extrovert that doesn't show here, except that it shows in color.

So you see two of the same thing. This, the, the form is the same here, thinking Sensei, intuition, feeling okay. But one of them is salmon and one of them is lavender. My husband decided on those colors. I think that's very unusual for sensei thinking male, but there is very feminine kind of colors so that if you are Sam and born, you are an extroverted. If you're alive and you're born, you're an introvert. That's the colors color they, and um, now in many, there are in a family, every little, every little person who comes in is said, uniquely you, you will have like, I was exactly like my mother made us very close.

My one sister was exactly like my father made them very close. The one in the middle was sort of this rather than around. She wouldn't like anybody. We were all up in our intuition and a feeling and thinking, and she was all in her body and that was choosing the wrong family. But not really by me. She learned what she needed to learn.

But it was hard to expect from people who are all conceptual to understand why you have to be a Tom girl or tomboy. So that all all going to be known. If, if you know this about a client that you have or about your children or about your husband, it's very important to know about the person you're living with. Because when you have the worst fights, I mean really tear up fights where you think, I don't know if we're going to make it that one. The fourth function as the deepest part of you in new, young conscious have engaged in each other and, and it's so dark and so scary, just even have it in your cell when you come up against that fear is so great under underpinning you that that makes a big fight. You know, it's insecurity that makes us really fight. Otherwise we say, let them get over it. You know, I'm going to wait for another moment. Oh no you didn't. I didn't for your life. You know, that's the worst function.

So, so what we looking at is then what we're born with, what we just are as far as type. Now that doesn't say all other things that are working like the archetypes and um, but it's so practical that it helpful to, to teach it in his moment. Now therefore, parts of you, as far as her apology goes there in this moment that we're in right now and party, you're thinking and trying to understand me. Another part is feeling wonder if it's any use to understand this or not. I wonder if there's any value to it. Like I don't know why. You know, that's, that's another part always assessing. And two of those are going to be in the conscious part of you where your ego is.

And two are going to be an unconscious where until you're about 40, you haven't made much headway with it at all. It's just bothering you. You know, may worrying you because those, they're going to be the main functions of your life in time because you, your deeper self is going to come through as you age. And your creativity comes from non-conscious. You spirit comes from nonconscious. So not even bother with them and just stay one half where it's all easy. That doesn't really make sense to us, you know?

So you would never be a thinking, feeling never in such a person ever. Because they're, that means both of those would be available or it's not true because thinking and feeling are opposites. So one will be in the conscious, the other will be in the unconscious, and those two are called rational. Well, yes, she didn't understand why thinking is rational, but feeling is rational. You know what you, you know what you, you value who you like, who you don't know. That's a, that's something that if it's in the unconscious at at the bottom of the psyche as it is for thinker, it doesn't spill very rational because you scared of all relationships. You have your troubled him with relationships, but that that's a one oppositional pair thinking and feeling. So you're, you're being kind to me, but you kind of assessing what you think of this so far.

Then the other other set of opposites is intuition. Where you, you just get it. You don't know how you got it. You just understand. We never read anything in a way where's it coming from? The air is like mysterious, but that that's in here. Now there comes a frown and friends' face because she's a sensei and when you start being too intuitive, she's know what's going on. You know, because that's the bottom.

That's the opposite of the intuitive Sensei. So people that are all easy in their bodies and athletic and and you know, pretty highly functional and if they're thinking their sensei thinking it's a very common type for further work are, and then you, you, you just, you make a neat house, you manage yourself well. It's not that you don't even know really what's going on with one kid probably cause you can intuit what, where the kid is. It's your intuition is so deep that the little kid may feel like an orphan in the house. So be careful you, if you have kids that you missing a lot of views until you get the second half of life and then you start to become that other side of yourself. And this is, this sounds spooky. It's not, it's just the way it is.

And nowadays we seem to have more permission to live longer, so we can, we can probably imagine going into 90. I don't think I want to go much beyond cause imagine a body at that point. It must be having a hard time, but that's a lot of years. And I have my parents both made it up to two days or so before 90. My sister is an invalid. Now after a stroke, 92 going on 93 with the brain's all there, but I don't know, um, we live longer. Medicine's better. Something's better.

So you have time to consider. I want to be my whole self and every bit you add onto that makes you more valuable to yourself and, and to, to the world. So, uh, it's not probably ever been available in time before for other populations to be able to think I could, I could achieve my whole self. Um, for one thing, they don't know what I'm talking about, but you know, inside them is this pushing out. It's, it's a weird age of Aquarius, right? Whatever that means, right? Well, the age of Pisces is gone, but not for those of us that were born in it. We're dragging a foot in there still. So what was the highest good in that so-called, even in Western world, it was a Christian area with Jesus and all of that story. Well, and you have to transpose that to, to Buddha or to Mohammed or whatever your belief system is, but it was follow some big principle, big, big leader like that and sacrifice yourself for the good of the many good as a whole.

Well that really is how the mothers live for their kids. It was just, it was not unusual that the mother just sacrificed and made sure the kids all got what they needed and she never got to be who she might've been. That's the story of the last 2000 years and now it's a different, the different spirit in the age age of Aquarius is, um, be yourself, be more of your whole self, and then you can be a true partner. If you're going for yourself and hear whatever, whoever your partner is is going through his or herself, then that's, that's the real relationship. It's not the one sacrificing for the a hundred. You know, you don't have to do everything together to view the right partner, but if you keep going yourself, you're gonna have more to be a partner with.

So it works out. You know, it's very fascinating. I don't think our parents in the past, they didn't, they didn't get a chance to live there. They might have now, they better be living it. You better have kids and have a job in the outside if you're a woman and whatever else you do. And if you're intuitive, besides, you feel like you're holding the whole world together, you're doing so many things. And if you send, say you have more sense about it because you're doing what? Down to earth, practical. You can't do more than one thing at a time. The sensate has that Zach, a genius at that. Well, you know, the intuitive will work their whole lives to get, to be able to do one thing at a time cause they're doing 60 16 things at a time or everything's in at once available to you in your mind. And it's not easy, you know, but um, you, you, you're very fascinating because you've got so many interests and so many things going on, but the, the sense ages looks like is he lazy?

He doesn't seem to need to move. We get sit and not do anything. You know, I've had lifetime with just hardly sit to watch a movie. I'll sit sort of most of the time have a dinner. Um, but many genders are going on in me and my husband sensate he just sit three hours and not even need to pee. He just, he doesn't need to move. He can, whatever he's doing, he can just sit there finally sleepy and he's got to go to bed. And that, my God, it seems so simple. A life. So, so these things are, are they, they talk, you talk about them in the like theory, but you put them inside of your human life and it really matters. You better understand why you're different, you know, or you know, men more than women. I think maybe I'm wrong on this. Think that what they are, everybody should be, you know, it's like this is an absolute isn't it?

In anything they say they have to think is an absolute no, it's just for you. Well, um, it's very interesting reason why our unconscious picks the opposite to be with, um, it does it because the spirits in the unconscious and it wants you to grow into that place in yourself that that other person is like, or your first, you just fall. So in love, you ever have been so enough that you don't know where you start. And the other one, we raised the point where he disconnect. It's this one. Well, it is, it's you, you're projecting that person is the part of you. The other part that you will grow into in the second half of your life.

And about five years, I had a dream. Exactly. You are five years and the projection falls off that person. And that person is not exactly what you thought he or she was because now they're not saying it all the right things that, you know, and I mean, I can remember in my first marriage, which I thought we'd go the whole life, but it didn't because, yeah, what we get into that maybe, but he, he, he said, he said, I mean, he just, he just stopped and withdrew and like, no, and it was an introvert and I was probably way too extroverted in those years. But he, he, he just [inaudible] like a big rock in the front of you that, that stopping the communication. And I had really thought it out that if he would just change one, two, three things, everything would be fine. And, and uh, how could I mean that? I mean, really believe the things that you live and you will look back on it and say, we didn't know enough. Then we just, you, you can't get ahead of yourself.

You have to live every step of the way. And then find you see though, that wasn't a very smart idea because who's gonna want to do what you want them to do anyway? They're going to immediately not want to do that because it's just an instinct to recoil from being told anything to do well. So that didn't work and we went through so many divorces and marriages and inside of 20 years it was just constantly either alive or dead or alive or dead. And getting reborn was an education, really was an education. So here we have then that, that you are one of these people. Everyone in his world is one of these people.

These are 16 individuals and that in the, and they read down in a vertical line, first function, second function, third function, fourth function. Um, and um, [inaudible] you're either born into her extrovert. That's why you have to have a car in here because if you're introverted, you know life totally differently. Even if you're the same person. I, this is, this was my case here. I was born, extroverted, intuitive feeling.

One client I've had for nearly 45 years. I mean, she's just never going to leave because she needs every dream to be worked on, you know, and she's turned from a little girl in her twenties. So beautiful. The, because she couldn't heal it intuitively. She couldn't get, I can get the words out. And now she's just a poet as she reads in front of the public. She's a child cycle analyst. She's just this amazing thing. But, but um, now she never could be expressive until even now in your sixties.

Very expressive to anyone. Took her that long. And, and I came out and I can be expressive to anything at all, anytime in my whole life because I was born extroverted, so, so, well, it was a dog, a horse, a horse made me cry. It was, it went to faster under me. So it didn't go into horses, you know, but that the fellow who damn, he was riding, Oh, put her on. I was five and then horse started to go and then he got me off. No, it was too soon for the horse too soon. Okay. So if I was intuit in feeling and extrovert, just a little, little, little girl interested in everything, intuitions interested in everything feeling is, is wanting to be late to everything. And so I'd go up and down the beach in the summer, my grandmother's cottage, and they call me the walking newspaper because I told all the business that was going on in my house to all the people in other houses and they just loved my visits. But um, so that when that went in school, okay, you're going to be very smart.

If you're intuitive and you didn't have to study, it's not fair because you just know it, you get everything. But later in life, you know, you wonder was it, were you cheating? Because it doesn't seem to me that you ever really, you didn't hit the books that hard. Well that's exactly opposite to the Sensei. They can't into it easily.

So they study so hard if they're going to learn and it's one thing goes into another thing all in order. And to this day, if my husband has something to tell me, he's going to tell me all the steps, all the steps, even in making something in a basement with his tools that I don't want to need. I want to hear the ending, you know? But they, they're very ordered. And then you have to study hard to learn. If you're today, you don't study at all. If your intuitive how opposite that is. And one of the other of those that have, that is in each one of you. And if it's in the unconscious, you're not as wise as you be.

The older you get, you get wiser as it has defining, it'll finally come in in and start leading your life will be the thing that's at the bottom. So I had thinking in the unconscious as you're lying and you're young, conscious as you third and fourth function well, if it's your third function, wherever that's going to lie and you, it's rather lazy, it's sleepy, it would rather not bother people bothered more like a natural good dog. Smart animals, smart cat. You know, smart horse. When you don't have the, don't don't make a problem out of it. You teach it natural intelligence, but we've got to work harder than that.

If we're going to use that third function is a bridge to the problem of your life is your fourth function, you can never resolve it. You just almost think that if you ever got to think of suicide as going to be over there, something to do with that fourth function because you just cannot, it, you, you, you keep having to imagine another way then to try to deal with it. And, and with an intuitive, it's always gonna be in the body itself. So one of the smartest things I ever thought of doing is this, go work on your body. It's going to be a problem. Work on it. And so it was slipped discs and things like that with a lot of pain. That got me to Joe. And um, in two weeks I knew that I was better because I was doing everything, almost like a ox. And it was just, I had a, I could take it all in and I think I could do it, but my body was not ready to lift and do the things I thought it would do.

So, um, and don't worry, when you really worried about something, there's usually going to be an answer coming. You know, we waste so much of life worrying and, and it, it, his lack of faith is what worry is, you know, this lack of belief in herself or belief that there's, there's somebody other than you caring about how your life goes and some of that is a friend or a partner, a parent or, but sometimes I swear it's going to be a spirit. You don't know, you can't see it, but you know, how can you explain like, um, two years ago I had my studio in, in Connecticut is an outbuilding would, who would think was probably building 18 no, no, no. Yeah, 1890 by Greg Chapman because there's a slab as you go into it and he's put it in, in the cement when he, so it's probably he is building them and it's, it was a wonderful tool. House friends been to this place and, and I just had my husband take all his tools out and for me bringing in the machine so I can keep he working on my body. And um, I had a client coming at one and um, uh, one in the afternoon this, the fire had been going on all during the weekend so that I can go in and out and stretch or whatever I need to do. And, and, and so I go out and there's lost smoke on a smoke. I think, well, that's interesting. Fire's going out now and letting them, not seeing him, but you know, I just say Lynn came out of there, she'd be out there and she said, I didn't, I didn't notice it. It's use reading a story on the wall that was from Pilati style on me. So, okay, Lynn, let's just sit out here and until the smokes, his eyes and, and it's sunny and it's lovely.

So we got the two chairs and the yard and we're sitting there and I said, let's just move over closer to the gym is I want to get this on right on my back. I would feel good. So I sit there, she sits here and there's the building. She says, Mary, this flame coming out under the, under the, the bottom of the ability. Oh my God, it was on fire. Well, just the week before I'd had Alec put the hoses up again. So I went running, I got this hose, that thing down and I thought very look at me on the back where the back is really going. A whole lot is on fire and I get this, we hose all that down and then she takes it, she gets a pale and she goes inside the gym and she pours it around the the where the, the window meets, you caesarian any embers and we get that fire out. We get that fire and then you know, he will, what if, what if she hadn't come at one? What, what if, why only when she's coming and who is she?

The daughter of a fireman. I mean, I mean the thing is almost like a, you had to think this up and, and, and um, well what, what that smoke was then this is got Alex, he's got my husband, much more careful music, you know, the pipes are all fine. You see going in and out of the houses, the metal pipes piping. But for me, so old, so much fire, so lots of time that a little cap on the end of one of the pipes and then it goes up from there, uh, fell off. And that a few sparks, I mean, wasn't much fire going, just enough sparks to start all the leaves behind the building going. And then it went all the way under the building and burned out all the leaves of whatever it was there.

And that's the smoke that we were seeing when it all over. You could burn any of the leaves. It moved on and I was going to burn the wood itself and, and so we all had to wake up about that. So every time we turn the fire out now he goes around and taps everything, make sure every piece is solid. But that was not, that was not explainable. The timing, you know, there, it's just too strange. Life is, and even sometimes how you even got together with your partner, it's like uncanny how it is, you know, I was never going to marry again. I first husband walked right out with another woman and I had put him, I bet we held him together for, for 20 years, you know, and got him finally to a place where he's feeling really fit and off he goes with someone. And I thought, well this, that's how it is.

And all you get all you do for version and that's what you get. Well, I'm not going to bother with that again because y'all are using his toys, but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. I'm not, I'm not gonna take any one of these guys. Seriously. So, so, so, so I did, I was just experimenting with men after when I want to. I'm not going to just have no body life, but you know, you don't know. You cannot say because then what are you going to do when you fall in love and you're hopeless again. You know? And I fell in love and, and um, this one now is 37 years. We've made it well past the breaking point and he's now 65. I'm 84. He's 19 years younger than I am. So when we, when we fell in love, we were starting to fall in love when I was 48 and he was his, he was 28, but it wasn't, it wasn't the right thing. It wasn't all ready yet, you know, and the next year when he came, um, and he came to help with a place and I'm just going to think, uh, I'm still with Donald early, my little boy toy.

I'm upstairs and he's got a motorcycle and I, but, but you know, it's wearing a bit thin. It doesn't go more in three months when it's just for fun in that way, you know, and so, and, and, and Alex coming, I thought I better go down and stairs cause I think I left Donald Earley's boots, uh, downstairs and I better take him and bring them up in case Alec comes into come down and I have not stitch on, I take the boots and I look around the next room and there's Alec already there on the Mat. So that's how he came theirs. Well, but then we all went out together. We'll be buddies and all. And then finally I just, I just ended it with [inaudible] cause there was no spirit in it anymore and he was just ending it with somebody. Now the stars were getting in order. So then we were, we were just this good friends. Um, and um, I was working on his dreams. I mean really we were getting closer and closer now and, and then I realized that there was nothing I did in my life that he wasn't there with me for. I never experienced that, if anybody. So I, I, I couldn't say anything, but I, I wrote him a note and I put it in his dream book and went off to the next day where I go to the North Hampton to work and, and I just, I just said, you, there's never been a man I've ever met.

He could meet me everywhere I am. And would you like to see what we like together now? How could I say that? Because I'm 47 now and I've been through all that stuff and I found out in those years in between, you can have any menu, Ma, I swear I did. The men when they've been working like this on, oh, I'll just get with her. And I thought, do you mean I didn't know it was that easy? Well, you know, they just fall like ducks, you know? And I thought, this is the, this is just so interesting, but I'm not the real thing. You know, even though you're always wondering, you know, sort of looking for the real thing, if you don't have it yet, I hope that quest stays open in your life because you will find, you will find the exact thing. But you go through a lot of other self before, often that has to happen. Maybe that's part of what you earn, you know, and you'll, you'll meet it. Why don't you don't even need it, you know? And it's just so mysterious. But, um, that was, that was the beginning. He said yes. And, and uh, I'm sure it was in him as much as it was in me, but he was, he's not going to have the balls to say that you, you know, women have to help men. No, there's more scared than we are, you know, really.

So one time I annalee said it's the woman who takes a man to the river to drink. So, so don't, don't feel, um, don't feel too proud to be, be helpful cause it's needed, you know? So there, we won't all get into my story because my story could fill a field, an encyclopedia. But, um, when, when we, when I came into the thinking, so he got me, he came into my life, he's 29, I'm 47. I'm already into, uh, I've been since 29 into the body with Joe Clot. He's in that event since 29 in psychoanalysis to in every dream. So by the time I'm 47, I know who I am and know what we missed this, I know what my work in life is and it's just going to be, keep, keep evolving it and opening it wider and trying to let yourself, because if you're fourth functions body and yearn, intuitive and you, and you might be, we might, we'll see, but your body is so tight to the bone every single place that, that you're just, that's how you are inside and you're perfectly healthy.

There's nothing wrong with you. It's just that the body is in such a scary place at the bottom of the unconscious that you just like, um, of squirrel or deer, everything you know, said they're old on edge. They, they never stop. And that's the way the body is in an intuitive. So when you have a client like that or you like that it takes a patient's job, you have to just be so compassionate. You can't help that and you know it, you grow your heart overworking with the thing that's the hardest for you.

That's really what stretches you and makes you useful. But um, that, that work then now having started that, the see how the, the top function and the bottom function are bigger print than the second and the third larger type. That's because they're the bigger forces there. They're the rulers of your life. So you're very good. All your lifelong, what is your first function, whether it's any one of the four, but then the one that really is the teacher of your life is the thing you just can hardly bear. You can hardly handle it. You don't, you go, you just see it is beyond you. It is beyond you. And it takes spirits in anything that can help. Anything that can help. And when the time in the 30s when you can feel that you're just, you just a waste sort of music cause you can't yet you can't get out.

You get so much Indian unconscious. Sometimes you can't even, it can't believe that any of ever be easy. But um, yeah, if you don't have a process you're working on in yourself, it's really hard. I'm sorry for you because then the outcome is really kind of boring. You know, you want, you want, you got to go all the way into the land of the dead literally and get used to being where there's no life at all. Others, if you're in a, if your Sensei, your life problem is going to be about breathing so you can't get a breath because you can't get, you cannot get any expansion. You can get it in your personality. You can get a new spirit engaged in your thinking.

You cannot get it in your body. That thing that lies at the bottom, it's too scared. It cannot open up. So I just, I just, I just hardly breathe all my life. Always working to breathe, always working to breathe. And, and you know, of course you breathe into be alive, but it's really sipping and sucking hair. There was never, there was not room for young. I mean, um, nobody really picked that up. That's what's so odd now. Now you think you couldn't, you see that that little child isn't breathing. No. Nobody picks it up and says this. Don't even look that t. No. And even in Joe's studio, um, I'm doing the workout.

I've been there two or three years. Um, I'm, I'm, you know, familiar with it all. You were put on your own in Joe's studio. You didn't have a teacher of [inaudible] over you all the time and, and it gave you about five lessons and then you're on that floor and you're doing it the way you remember it. You do. And I think you'd grew right into doing it for yourself. We maybe book too much. I think so. So, um, then he would come and to Carol would come and you get given cues. Are you there? Pause, lie on you somewhere and that informs you what you're supposed to be doing more.

Uh, but I, and I, at the end of the workout, they had a low table where she's put at, it's a little lower than the Canada and, and you, you just of decompress there at the end and usually use the, a small barrel under your, under your legs. And I'm over there just getting ready to go get dressed and go. And two to two reformers over is a, I don't know what his profession was, but he's a very fit man. He was in there every time, one of the two times each week I came in on train by train, he was there and, and he just looked at me and he had the perception to say to me, take a breath. And I said, totally innocently and honestly, I don't have time to breathe. And that's how life was felt was we lived, there was no time to be, well, I couldn't find where you would get it from. But um, and he said back to me, that's the saddest thing I ever heard, you know.

And it was sad. It was sad to have to be in a body that was like that all the time, you know?

Chapter 2

Transitioning Through Layers

No, if, if it's a sinker, um, the feeling function is like that and a lot of them never, never can get to a, an intimate relationship. Many of them never because it's too scary, you know, and all, all the, the, my first husband was this, this one and, and um, he, when we, he was 24 when we married, he was nowhere near ready at all to be able to get into his feeling. I mean, he, it's much easier as much as he could. I was reading as much as I could. He was loving as much as I could. He couldn't, it's about this much, you know, and then you grow by 42 where that then is available to you.

And then like the Jerky left and said, try it out on somebody new. He should've brought it where, where it belongs, you know, on your, on your main stream. But most people don't. Now they flip out right at 39, 40, 41, they flip right out. And that's the reigning phase of life comes in. And this is all spooky stuff. Like I don't, don't tell me how I, how people decided this. But it seems to happen that the rain, the rain is, wants something new to happen.

And if you are very deeply serious person, you will say, well then that should be with the partner I'm with. You know, the new aspect of new something, her new career for myself or something and most managed the new woman and most of them now the women go to, it's not, not just the men that live here anymore, even though, so the women go to and um, you can't say it's right or wrong, it's just what it is. And um, the thing is, if you're the one who's left, you've been given a great gift because now you can really be yourself and there's no argument about it. You can be more compassionate and you can, you can, you feel in with much more of yourself. So that's a good part of it. If you have to go through that. It's hard though. And I think that my whole education was accelerated to that marriage because I went through all the dark with that man, the worst, the dark, and Oh somebody, my handle is one day said go see this man Mutt Craig, he's a famous astrologer. And he said, I just, I, I want to see what he says cause I didn't look at how it's going to lift out of the pit, you know, and I did, I was out on the street, I was just like, I am now. I mean, but who I was underneath was Methuselah around 2000 years old or something, you know. So, so, um, I went to that man and e, you know, he saw stuff, I don't know what he saw, but the things he knows about a chart, he's seeing more lives in one, you know, and, and I'm, I'm at that point 29 years old, I'm a comedian in theater and I'm at the point where my friends say, just go take it. You could just get it. You know, you just couldn't get it. And I thought, I can't, I can't. And what was that?

Y Y because I could do it. I always got the audience. I heard it. I love, I like to make people laugh, but I'm not about that. That's not what, that's up, the meaning of my life. And that's what wouldn't do it. And so I thought, I'll go to a psychoanalyst, find out what, why I'm neurotic about that. Cause evidently I don't want success, you know, afraid of it. Something. So that's how I began with my Monday. Wonderful man that sat with me so many years. But um, and that was a key here.

29 is about when the ego has done all it. Can you see, you have 10 years to go. And in these years, in these years, you really should. You really should be, just try anything you want to do, try everything you can think to do and go as far with your ego as you can go because you're growing a good ego or you're just exploring life like that. But then you get to 29 or 30 and the ego isn't the answer. No, it's not. It's just not the answer.

So you feel like you fall right on your face and then you begin the deeper journey, you know, so don't worry if by 29, you just feel that you're in Shit's creek. That's the way it should be. And then then you go in the deeper journey. So, well, I'm just trying to give you the sense in your life now talking about my husband with the feeling and the thinking that that a thinker there wreck it. Just a wreck about, well she said her, he said her, I mean this is not the meaning of their life is not, but it is taken so seriously because they're suffering. They cannot open up that function. And uh, now if you, if you're feeling though his first and I sister like that, the one who's in the, in the bed, only from bed to her wheelchair now at 92, she is, she's a thinker. She is so much, she didn't do my, my analytical work, but she was creative work person.

So she is so much you thinking sensate now and she's like a little animal, you know, that's been, you can not run anymore. And the little animal would just take it. They'll just take whatever affliction they have and there's no argument. That's just how she's thinking. Sensei just like somebody you said you will not walk anymore. All right.

She did not walk anymore, but she's not going to be depressed. He just is. And she'd come right through as the thinking's Sensei. She works so hard and got such a good head on her. The stroke didn't even bother her thinking at all, but it took her body out, you know. And another thing, I wonder if she worked more with her body, whether that might not have happened because you don't want to neglect any one of these four places in, you know the one you would look at that the most is the one that's going to get you. You like to go like I just died. We, we chose, we, one of my cats waited for me to get back from Japan and then she was like 21 and she just, I knew she come into the n I want to, should I get the vet should have, but she couldn't. She couldn't hear. But she just had this wonderful little life and sense of self that went right along getting older and older.

And finally she just put her, I saw she couldn't move off the floor. She was stuck with a leg out, like a frog and she couldn't get the forward legs. She was just stuck there. So I knew it was coming to the end. So I swept reverend. I put her in a little round thing and she, uh, her bed and I slept with her that night and I'd watch her in the ribs were just up and down, just naturally up and down, in and out. And then I turned her over so she wouldn't get tired on one side. And, and then it morning, uh, my husband looked in at, as I said, like I said, she's, she's still, she's here, but I don't wonder if we should call John to come.

We know he comes to the house if we have to put someone down. And I don't know, I was thinking about it. Um, and she seemed asleep this reading naturally. So I went in to have breakfast and then when I came back, she was gone. Yes. She probably waited for me to leave the room. Don't think you are in a cower and keeping people going. You know, we are very powerful. We don't know it. You know, we as women, we really don't know it because we've been part of the, you know, repressed for so 30,000 years that, that we come from a deflation into life. The men man come from an inflation and they better go into a deflation or they're never going be them with real, real cells because it's not very attractive after a while to live with someone who's just stretch around sixties with the worlds cow bull.

World's best bull. Mm mm mm. I love animals. Sounds they grounded. Everybody moves. Mm. Oh wait, went way d [inaudible] almost like a big roan. [inaudible] I'll tell you how you can get into your core within animal sound.

I used to do it. I don't think it's a horse snake and I thought that, oh, horse ne. You know, when you're a little kid and you don't, you remember that you probably would have tried to be a horse sometimes, you know, and, and we would do it ne, you know, we go round and around and being horses. And that when they stood with said that Joan time at the PMA, the whole place went, hey, Yup, 150 people. But that I didn't know to have a man who works with horses told me that, that that's not on an exhale. That is on an inhale and that pulls your core right in and puts you up in your, in your mind [inaudible] pen. There you are [inaudible] and you go, you get, you get men's low and you gave new all sorts of, uh, it's high, low.

It has a date range, but you can have your conversations with people. It will, you'll be very, very connected. Yeah, he comes up through there and it has no sound in it. It's just air. But, but, but here's one of my great lions. I will never, never not be funny. Did you give you do this horse ne too many times in a day you will become horse is stripping your vocal chords that that's an aside, that it's always worth it because you're practical and it went and moved too from studio to studio and one dance woman who had a company in Maryland said, dude, a woman who had had me there didn't, I told her that it, thank you so much with the horse ne now all my dancers do the petitioner, they'd been trying for years to get them into [inaudible] so let me get a horse and the horse chest is here in our minor picks, which are the most pitiful part of us. You're looking weed. We don't have the vivid page half open. We certainly don't have them.

The minor Peck's open and it's nothing to do with titch. The tension in the horse are down here, so that's just, but can't you just visualize a horse chest [inaudible] that's what you should be going for. And, and even the deer, the deer, they're so scared, but they, they're held so high and that head is just like floating as is is fine. That posture is beautiful even when they're scared to death. You know, why did it, wait, why did all these creatures walk around in the right posture and people don't know we're animals. Yeah, we just, we just complicated things so much. And we started with the thinking and the feeling and then, and which we mentioned the intuitive was all over the place, you know, off the ground. And those people are hard to, hard to teach cause you can't get them into the body. Well the, they're walking around in the body but they can't get into it. It's very strange, but it's true. And then then the opposite of that, the sensate is just in the body, just like regular little beam. No, there's no problems. It'd be, I know, where am I right here intuitively [inaudible] where they are. They're here, they're out, where they were and where they going and they don't sit still very long.

You know, this a totally opposite. Now, depending on the order of those, you don't know the order is, it's unique in every case. Yeah, so in each, each case, these are all different arrangements but you know, you always know that there are two sets of opposites. So your thinkings on top feelings on the bottom. If feelings on top thinking's on the bottom, if sensate is on top, intuition is on the bottom. If intuition is on top, the body sensate is on the bottom. That's just logical. That's just how it is. Now there's that.

That's a couple you could say first and forth. Direct opposites. They gotta marry up in you. Well you mean I got married at least I hate. I hate it. I don't understand it. That your, that your partner that not only your partner, that's your creative genius. If you have want to get anything that's original and special, you got to go to that place because that's where the spirit comes through.

That's where your creativity comes through. See how hard it is. But it's, it's, it's wonderful and it needs to be that hard. You have to keep yourself alive. I'm just not giving up because you won't give up on yourself. I'm thinking hierarchically, I'm thinking if this is what I am, I might want to get through whatever I am to the bottom in order to be whole.

Yeah. Wholeness is again, is the goal, is that what it is? It's the whole psyche and um, in, in its, in its typological structure. Now that's not to say, you know, other influences that are happening and cultural influences and all that, you know, if you think back of your parents and my parents, I mean it was very easy to see that one supported the other and it, and it went all the way through life. That one was good at, the other one wasn't. And yet they really could have done everything real. Yeah. That's how we got, that's what real life was that you partnered and you, you, you, uh, even in my husband now as a sensate thinker, I mean, I'm never going to build things the way he can, you know, uh, because my, I'm a sensei thinker now, but I'm a sensitive thinker in a more creative way. That has to do with, well, what next could we do here? And his is very solidly like put this together and put, and sometimes you'll get things halfway done and they go back, oh, can I think what happened? Is it he said he didn't see ahead that he hadn't measured that thing. So now, now and intuitive would always see the problem at the end. So, but with me, with the sensei thinking man and the feelings in the unconscious and then the intuition is weighty. That's the bigger work of life is to intuitive head and not lose your mind like that. They're just, they're just, if a sing drops on the form, you don't have, what'd you do as he hurt himself?

I mean it's been nothing really quiet. Wasting all that energy. You know, I take energy's take Chris, you know, we're always tired. Be careful with your headache. No, it's like an, I know now don't even go near him until he's recovered and then even he sees it. He sees it silly too. But you know that they have permission. This is the angry right there. Carried right there.

Any moment. No. If you have, if you have managed not doing that is probably totally wrong about him because he needs to be going through that to get into a calm place. And the bigger factors of our life that is not on here is that we women have a male counterpart because we're seemingly built like a woman, but we are more mailed in our, our part male partners because we have a male that's giants. It's a, it's a, it's as big as the world. We at the animals is the spirit and it's huge and it never tires in the spirit and we're supposed to keep up with all the things that wants us to do and, and it doesn't ever know about what rest is or what a woman is or what she feels. You have to teach that thing. You have to teach that places in yourself. Look, I'm, I'm still trying to say enough, enough. I'm tired. I'm tired, but only about six more things she supposed to do before you can go to bed.

And I go to bed around two in the morning. My husband's been snoring away since 11, 12. When he hit, he go, I'm so tired and none. Then he announced it like three times. I am so tired. It go ahead, go to bed. I am so tuck. Okay. Okay. Let me, do you know anyone, anyone you live with, it's hysterical to any, if there's a terribly funny thing going on besides the tragic whatever it works through, it does it, it is really hilarious what's going on but, and then how you knew what spirit you live that you got to learn to live that with it, with, uh, with, um, the [inaudible] last year in you or it's just too sober. I've been talking to you and so, and this, these are the questions I have. It's not just to feed other people, but it's, um, if it's not, if I'm sensei thinking, which I think is what you've said, is that right?

I think that's what it is anyway. Yeah. Feeling is a problem and intuition and to Vigo Pelham for sure. But is that the goal or do I find someone else that does that? [inaudible] good. Better to hang out with people? Well, you go into a chest that is just a natural attraction. Okay. And, and you, each time you go from one to another, if it happens to be when we've, you had little boyfriends and Bieber boyfriend did whatever, each one you've grown apart more, you're just not at back at the same place. You, you're a little more savvy.

And uh, it doesn't mean that you can go from an unknown as an intuitive feeler. And I was saying that about the scale that you couldn't, you couldn't intuit, you can do it how you want to be and you, you will see the whole picture, but you can't hurry it up at all. So it was really, I was about 60, really 60 before I started to really be, and I couldn't, because why I couldn't breathe is the animal was in such tension. The sensate was so still, you know, unlived in an, I mean, this is truly, I know, I know any of the people out in the audience at home will understand this. If they're intuitive, you don't pee when you need to. You pee hours, hours past when you needed to.

If you didn't say you need to Pee, you go pee and same thing, you know, you just, you just hold it in, you hold it in and you, if you hold it, if you don't it, there's only a narrow edge when you can let it go. So if you, if you don't, it's like an orgasm to you. You don't have much space there. So because you're getting into this animal place which is so scared and so tight and you use go ahead and let everything go, not for use, it's really intuitive. You just, you just tried it, you find it intense focus and let what happen happens. You know, it's in a very, very unusual type but doesn't mean we aren't sexy and we don't want that. No, we were, we just very restricted in the buddy's space. So yeah, you could say. And all of these types, well, what secure, what's the cure for any of what are we really, are we looking for more space, more space to be with our feelings, more space for this thinking to think of things and not be like [inaudible] I don't know. I don't know what else. I don't know. You always know enough. You always know enough, you just going to continually know more.

And if you're working with anybody else, you're so far ahead of where they are. Don't even worry about it. Cause you know, you, we used to think when you start to, if you were to teach you, you're the teacher, you want to teach everything, you know, they don't need that. They just needed to be started somewhere in themselves. And what, what you know is not as important as who you are with that, with your clients. You know, and we forget that because we think we don't know enough. I know what I would say to any one of you. Picky. I'm sorry. I don't feel well. Will you go on with my subject today, please? Oh No.

I mean nobody could. Well you'd start talking about your life and everybody's started a new thing. We'd cause you do ted wonderful session. You know, the only thing, you don't know enough. No. And, um, probably the loan is going to know the most in terms of expansive knowledge would be like my sister who's in her bed with, with a range of material she uses digested and I'm in literature in life and just enormous interest in everything cause she was a feeling to the youth. And um, that just, that's the one that should be always trying to think more.

The one who is feeling up at the star because all her, Olga, she's still thinking enough that she stays alive. Well, maybe it's not going to be so different over there. I don't know what she said. She said, I'm ready to go. I've made my peace. I said, well, it must be something you're still learning here. [inaudible] [inaudible] here. And the one thing I saw, she was a passivist. My father was a pacifist, um, and she worked with the Quakers all her life she worked for, for things that we've of peace in helping really mainly just try to teach the world to have peace. And um, I don't know. Um, you never got, we're not going to see it in our lifetime, but it doesn't seem more and more foolish hit teams when wars or the visit resolution or Sunday, it just feels like that is so old fashioned. Why would you even be doing that? You know?

And yet there are people at the level where they're not, if we are at a higher level, maybe isn't evolving a certain way so that they're still way back in the Middle Ages. Some of them.

Chapter 3

The Importance of Yawning

The first question was how do you help someone else diagnose someone else? Well, uh, you can't, they can't do it if they don't know who they are. You'd have to know what this process feels like to you as a person and understand, I really am a CSEC is no kidding. I'm really, I just not, you can know at any time what you're having the hardest time with. That's the very thing that you can be the best set in hand is that that thing that you, you're still mulling over is the, is the teacher of your life the greatest teacher? If you keep, keep persevering with that and it's not only one way, it's any way you can think of to help that instead. If you don't, don't hate it, don't be annoyed by it. Say, oh honey, you haven't troubled again. Now let me be with you here.

Let me see if we can't work on something. And sometimes I say no, like a kid. You know, you, you, you're dealing with something that's so frightened that it, it, it doesn't know how to help itself. And you're the one that reaches in there and helps it. But that becomes the thing you're best at. And I mean, I'm, I'm totally not that you can hear that in me, but I'm not that anymore except you're an audience and an outcome c comedian and whatnot. But, but this is who I am now, an introverted sensei thinker where every little detail now I want filled with period a lot more space around it. And I find that depth of a focus is the place that we'll talk about tomorrow is the place where you can unlock the part of you that's so defensive. Some in someone in the air force function, you're going to be very defensive and women have good reason to be defensive.

Nobody ever listened to us before. You know, now you know we're not, we're not going to shut us up either anymore because we finally, in America we have found our voices and we better be growing up because the world needs the feminine attitude. Men are just going to work, you know? [inaudible] not for Jordan. Do you know? You're just blowing a whole ways up. What I mean that kind of just mail, it's no, we need a counterbalance to that. And the thing is we are, we're male and female. They're male and female. We got a big male that are really discouraged. The male you're living with, unless you're careful, because he's never good enough.

Nothing's ever good enough, you know? And it's very critical. Judgmental side, it can ruin a woman's life to go with that animal is too much. And I know we can't live without it. We wouldn't be here together without it. We wouldn't be doing anything outside a little houses without it. But if that's ruling in in a winning the day, you're super critical of yourself and everybody else. You're judging everything and you just like a prick, pushing yourself all the time. Well what?

That isn't a feminine way move that's just male and it's all about action and I don't care what you do, just do something. And, and, and, and the tray on the plane, there's this little man he sees. What would you say if there was, if there was the last of anything, and I told this to Christie last night when we had dinner. Well, well, what word would you save out of all the words in your vocabulary? What one word and this male said, do right in the maleness. Easy. Yeah. Do Action. And, and I look at my journey from intuition into sensei would say be well to just be is nirvana for the intuitive. I mean, there's nothing to say that there's nothing to do, you just Har, but that's making it to the fourth function. And, and I, I went to Toronto with, with having achieved that. But I mean, you never think if anything, I mean you always feeling like you're way off the mark seal and yourself. So, so I did, I did all my lessons in a big package of stuff and I came home and one girl sent me an email and she said, she's a money.

The most miracle dancers I've seen in this world because she dances from some someplace inside her that you don't know what you seeing. You know, you, you, this is a no harm. But when she uses it, he, you don't know what's happening. She just turns everything into spirit and she's, she doesn't think she's at all intelligent. She's a feeling probably Sensei in her body and her feeling one is what she dances with. But, um, I think she's brilliant. I've heard her teach. It's so extraordinary. Everything about this woman, she came off a farm in Canada was discovered, you know, and she's just like a nurse force for thing. She is that, whether she knows it or not, she barely one day say, I guess I'm blessed. But mostly she thinks she doesn't know enough.

But she wrote a note to me and it just sent me into wild weeping and that's sitting at the computer and Carolyn's is written and she said it's very rare that you meet a person who like a beautiful animal just is and gives unconditionally of what they have to offer. And either that could be on my tombstone. I mean I just, I just ball and allocated money is, what's the trouble with it? I've done my work [inaudible] the Bali because from the outside that was, you used to work to get to that and, and, and when you start to get that back, you still have to get, the reflection is over your lower functions that a hell of a piece of work stuff, but it's done to turn now to then ask the second question, speak a little more about the turnaround. What, how, how does this come out of that? When you succeeding all the way up to 45 anyhow on that. And you know, you know, my body was, um, an extroverted intuitives buddy.

You can know that if you work with people it would help you to know is I'm not having traumatic travel. It's just the same problem. Like if you were a little more [inaudible] in the end you'd, your whole life was just to push one little grain of earth. That's your whole life and you can fix on that and there's no end to just making a tunnel. And that's the way the extroverted intuitive goes to have to that place in the body. So you're never really sick. You never, you're just struggling. Oh time with one thing. And this van I mentioned, she's intuitive.

You have huge upset, you had migraines for five views, you have you bleed all the time since you had your child and you never stopped bleeding. So then yeah, I have had the hysterectomy. I mean it's just, but it's this, this blast of, of things that just are, and then you get the best cancer. I mean hard things. But, and, and she, she wrote through all of the [inaudible] never speaking about the buddy anymore when it's always been the thing, you know. So it's you wear it out by the time you're 60 that's really, that's when a fulfillment of the change comes. Now when do you start to feel that something shifting is usually midnight. You know, in that first 39 40 41 that's when the shifts of partners usually happens. But there's epic shifted itself.

But then when you get to 45 honestly, I cannot believe I can say this, but w w what? When we are women, we don't come out of the confidence. Other than that we can make babies, we can, you know, so there's those things little, they don't speak very much to the individual in you, but you don't, you don't come out. If you do come out, there's a confident little thing you're going to get smacked down and you know, then you just like all other women. But when you can build up to the point when it's 45 I could say a woman is me. That's amazing to see. But what that, because each one of us has to create for ourselves what a woman is.

There is no mo, no map. This is brand new. We're putting ourselves out there in the universe now as individual women. And so you don't have anyone to follow anymore. It's very staggering. No, it was easy to just be like, this one. I just like her. I'm going because I just like nobody. I don't even dress like me.

I never wore this before. I mean, there's always something new. It's coming out. One woman I had up from Florida, the little woman, and she the toughest one who ever came to spend two days with me. She came in the back door pretty little thing, blonde, curly hair. I don't have any friends and I don't want heady. That's her introduction. I said, I said, well, I don't believe you, you know, and, and so we spent two days and she, she's tough.

And I said, well, after I said, I said, she's married to this man who's the head of a p pediatric clinic. And she said, um, uh, no. I said to her, you had, you must be hard to approach you. And, and there she said, Sonny wise, I know I need to soften. That's good. But there were reasons why she had to be that way. After the first day. I said, well, now that you've been here a day, what do you think of, uh, you know, the experience of even me? Well, you're much kookier than I thought you'd be as well. I was a comedian, you know, I was a comedian, uh, after theater. It's only one comedy that was so strong. I was that for awhile. Oh, I didn't know that. So that sort of explained my kookiness I guess. And then she said, I wouldn't be caught dead in what you're wearing.

This is, this is a pure sensate with no intuition. I one word after another is apart in another person's head, you know, and they don't even know that they're doing that. And I said, well, I said, I have about a three minute minute space to decide what I'm going to wear and just get it out and get down there into life. And that's, that's, that's, that's what I had on to them and make no excuses for it. But, and I have this one exercise and maybe I get a chance to show you or not wear it. It unfolds into a complete relaxation. And it's felt so you genuinely that everybody, oh. And I said, are you feeling that you relaxing there? No.

Now really she's the most uptight person I'd ever known. And she was Sensi. Not even with sensate in the bottle, but I, but then I did say she's now, she was an investigator in a medical clinic to find out who is cheating with how they were building. She'd be very good at that. And she was now a polite, his teacher. Oh, do you like your clients? Yes I do. It's going to happen to Gladys. I think that when you put your whole self into something, you, you might as well call it a temple or a cathedral. You know, everything's going to get worked through and you can, you, she's getting restored by working, being a teacher of what you all know. So well. So, so at 45 you, you have achieved probably like as much as you can of newness in those first two functions. And then you get a bit bored. It's just, um, not enough. It's the feeling, you know, and I don't mind you saying not enough about yourself, just don't say it about other people because you're not in their skin. You know, you, they're living their trouble. We all have, it's not easy to be any one of us. It really is. You will know that.

I hope you don't know too well 19 you could know it. Yeah. Yeah. Especially if you, you've profound, you know, looking for so much. But um, but you, you begin to know something's pushing you and it's from within. It is the psyche itself saying no, now we will start to push up with those lower functions. And, and with me, with the sensei thinking, pushing up and, and I had, I had a practice that made you have to do it is, that's the intuition. You never sort of misstep.

You'll always know you're doing the next right thing. Sensei, you don't know so much. You may have gone off there and you gotta come back. You, you don't, you can always trust your intuition. But, uh, Angie will, but so, so take a take, let's say to take sensate here, take this versus it's so common. But all of a sudden what your partner's been saying, maybe I had a woman from Kiev last weekend and, and lovely, you know, but she is very much a sensate thinker and strong, you know, and, and I, and she's married to a man who softer, you know, the feminine in Him, the masculine in her. That's the truth of how we're partnering because that, that is how, why are we so affected by that unconscious thing? Because it's so much larger than our ego life.

It's all the history of the world that every was, every, everything is there and it's huge that area. So we're very male. American women are very male and our job is don't get into that support as a woman. Let it come out of you as a woman speaking, don't just be a guy and I can get it done. We're going to get it done today. Okay gals and boom. And you just know the way that women on a TV, you can even see the jaw. And then they're there and they're the newscast and it, God damn she's under that animous she's like some of these powerful women, they're like little men. That's not where we're trying to go.

Not to succeed in this outer world. Succeed in the inner world where that male spirit supports and helps you as a woman in your own way to give you gift. No. And then now I would say the greatest gift that we can give is of ourselves developed to the world that's new to the world. And um, it didn't, it isn't a self, you know that you teach. This makes you marvelous. It is. As I say it again, it is who you are saying anything that makes you marvelous and so you know, support yourselves better, I hope is what you come out of this, this little meeting with the world out there who's listening to this is not all in place, but they may be in something, whatever they are in, it can be so, but this is, this is you're talking about a body system. Can it grow the wholesale? Well, absolutely. With the in me.

You know what, what got his poor body thinking, what, what he gave you, what the Sensei thinking answered to one answer to your life in your body and and trouble with that. It was only that. It didn't go into the other. It didn't go into feeling. It didn't go into once in awhile we tap intuition. If a person was so badly off that you had to think of what, what would you do with this person? And so those times he could come through as an intuitive. If you have to become a sensei thinker, nothing is better than Claudia if you started as an intuitive, well, let's look over here. If, if you have a person who is intuitive thinker, all right, then they know they're not going to think theirs.

They're young Hodges is going to be a sensei. Feeler. Well they're not going to go very long into the method. And I say love it and something has them be passionate about it and if they can feel, if that can happen, if it is where we're starting to say about this girl in the Kiev and I didn't finish, the watch she got from me is she's not telling her husband she loves him. He's always telling her and she, she's running his studio, she has a little boy, she has a, her father living with her and, and her husband living with her and everybody's loving her and she's accepting that. But she's lovely. She's not mean in any way, but they would like her. I think the little gets the comfort cause he's, she's for you. Yeah. But when, when I, when she left I said, tell your husband you love him. And she knows exactly why that was the tag because she now needs to go into feeling and not just taking it for granted.

The third function doesn't want to bother. I mean, he knows I love him. I mean, no, that's a woman's complaint about men forever is that don't just take me for granted. I need some affection. I need, I need a hug. I need to be told. And you know, a lot of us just live off our animals because they love us unconditionally and no human being is going to love. Love you anywhere near as much as you dog or cat are able to, you know. So I mean you could get real filled in by that. No, but now well go over here to the sinker or this one. It's really going to depend. They're very good thinking intuitive.

Now put that into the discipline. Applauded the body. Is it one, is it going to want to bother with men, they don't really want to bother very often. As long as it works. If something really bad happens, eye pain, then you can teach him. You have that much time and the better, forget it again when, because if it works, they're not fine tuning themselves. Women, I am tuning ourselves all the time and we, we just take ourselves on it. A piece of work, the tip project, it doesn't change till the day you die, you know, so, um, so they, if, if, if, if they will, will bother and see how they feel. Something changes when you use the body more, you know, your whole sense of self is increased. If you're [inaudible] no gift, just think a moment.

Let's just take a moment and I'll give you, um, that's, that's yawn. As ready as you can take it. If you don't get moments that they get six times, you get it. But mm. You have to, you have to leave this moment. You have to leave where you are. You go into an animal experience. Pure animal. Um, mmm. Little boy on, on a subway. I was telling a story yesterday. He's, he gave me another way into the young, he just said, Dadada Dadada Dadada Dadada Dadada all through three stops in this subway in New York City. Um, and I'm, uh, I'm watching, you know, just let your jaw drop the hog on door. And then I got off at my stop and I walked up the stairs to grand central.

No, no, no. God, no, no. And honestly, nobody saw that or heard that. Nobody, nobody sees anything in New York. You just go your own way in New York, you don't know. I got the top of the stairs and I thought, what about a a y? Yeah. Now that hope, the pharynx winner, that makes more space in them through [inaudible] New York, and I know that a little bit late, let me know the way to teach you on him. So you never know where the next teacher will come from, but yawning is the best bet you can do. You only will get you in your chair in a whole new way. You've just really, you know, if something can do that much for you, please do it more.

You know? And here's one that I just found. Eight, take you to be your tongue and go around the back. Shied of your lower teeth always for one child won't go as easily. There's other rule, but what rush tension, go, go. Keep going until you open that gate. Go to go away where I'm [inaudible] [inaudible] and the Handyside is out to be tighter because we overuse it and it's tight. And the one that we're not handed of it, we'll have more space.

We an exercise. So now take that tip of your tongue and go right down like these today. Push down on that flash underneath. Go behind lower than the teeth in the back. Push down hard [inaudible] and you'll find one thing very hard.

Where harder go after that proofer ground. What ruin is roofing your route to your tongue? [inaudible] group charge to move. You're going to go to John Crew Barker up to his eye. Mm MM.

Over new part of ourselves as to what you boys read all been like a cocoon in us women. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. I'm just in a wad of phlegm somewhere right around in here. I don't know this exactly. Hmm. Hmm. I got it up that you will experience yourself as it'd be vived with giving practice to the arm. It brightens everything. It cools the brain. It's, it is. And no one will believe you until you, you won't believe me.

Two you find it out for yourself because we've been taught not to yawn. That's rude. And I was taught this second grade. I was in the first desk cause I was so eager to learn. And this woman, I was looking right up at her. It's very early in the morning, the whole class behind. We're all just little kids. Um, I use work to y'all naturally and truly there. I thought it sounded boring, but I bet she just yawn. And she did. That's very rude. Oh, I was so humiliated, embarrassed, and I've carried that for years and I never did. I never dated Deon again. Three years. Isn't that awful? And that's the most natural, fullest breath you can have as a human being or an animal.

The animals you are all the time. A baby's yawn in the womb. Two months. You start yawning. Now, why don't we yawn more? That's the way teach Beth, when I got to the yawn, I got to breath. That was, that was, it took me to Bobby's 61. I thought. Oh, okay. Oh God, I can't get you to do it though. Y'all holding back, not, you know, shoot, it is a little, little bitties here. These two have gone to sleep. She isn't going to take it on.

She's not even in that. She's not even here anymore. And there you see inhibition. We want to go with our own, um, willingness to say we start engaging in that place that just withdraws. That's the place that you're genius. But so you start over at 45 when you start over with the functions that have been in your unconscious, you starting over like a young child, you're not very good at it.

You're not anywhere equivalent to your age and your experience with your first and second functions. So, so say well where it really was show it say, and here you'd be, you talk too much or you don't, you feel too much. And I have a client, I've been 10 years with her. She still gets caught by feeling too much in every situation. And yet you have to be at a feeler. Well, yeah, but you have to be the filler at what age as you are learning to filter experience through that function. That takes a lot of stamina and courage to, to you mean it doesn't matter whether you do a thing well or not, you know, you've got to do it at all and then you get better at it. Right. You know, you can't walk here, run if he don't walk. So, um, you take on your little child, not you, and now you're coming into your big stuff and then end it.

And my husband now is, uh, 65 and is coming in. Is it an intuitive feeler now? Well, I can't shut him up and I mean he, he has to tell you all the variation and everything he's thinking whether it's Ukraine or whether it's the airplane or, I mean, is it anything? And, and if I hadn't lived that myself, I think I can't stand this because it's just a kid that has to say everything through another place. And when I, well not with me, hardly talked at all, I thought it was marvelous. You could, you could, you could imagine anything you wanted into his head. You know, now I would some guns when I'm very bold, I say I'm not interested in hearing that. Now I learned to be strong enough to say that. And, and I heard a man say that on the phone one time. I'm not interested in that. Okay, goodbye. I said Bob do was that he said it was me, me, his wife, I said, I've never saw it. I ever had the right to ever say to my partner, I'm not interested in that and I can do it now. You know, but I don't use it much because he has to be false. He has to feel, he, he, everything he says is interesting because it is to him, you know?

And so, you know, and there are ways then, and when I stumbled a little insensate thinking ways and um, he'll say, I'll tell you how to say it. I'll say, don't tell me how to say it. We one thing, women will not be told by men anymore what to do. We say we will not do, you know, you will not, you're, you're not going to tell me how to do that. And I'm an intuitive and I've got this list, this whole meal going and I've got things all over and he'll come in and want to straighten that up and do it. Because he said, he said no. I said, I'm in the creative process here, don't you come and tell me, because these are just universal. But to every time he, he's cannot help himself to tell me what to do, what I should say, what I should wear. I mean, he really would like to have a little windup talk to it and, and he of, he doesn't want it cause he didn't marry it. You know, he married exactly the reverse that makes it, educates them to and how to be a different kind of man, you know. But uh, the funniest story ever about that was on way out the door to the train to go to New York. All my life is going to New York every week and he says, you're not going to wear that in New York, are you? I said, oh look, we're going to the train. So we get there, we get onto the train and then I get, we still have talkings. I go up to the little toll booth where you get your tokens to take the shuttle over to the other side of town and it's very handsome, young, um, thirties probably very appealing.

Black man is standing there next to me and he says, excuse me, are you a Hollywood star in disguise? That's what he says to me on the day. My husband says, you're not going to wait. That's a New Yorker. I mean, why we even bothered to listen to him? I mean, really, he had no intuition at all. It just shocked me as God had a laugh that, that was so funny. So you just, you have, you have to persevere against your own criticism in your criticism against any Audi criticism person here you have a right to be standard yourself, you know, do not knocked down. And that those little parts that do coming in and thinking sends heat. Well, like my sister was 15 years, married with two an Englishman living over in Yorkshire, England, three little kids, one to one, probably five, one probably nine.

And her husband walked out on her with a 19 year old secretary and not with any money or anything, just like went out of his natto. And so, so she's having to bring these kids up now. She's gotten the whole thing to do and she's, she's sitting and she said the one point that she, and she just, I don't, I can't do it. I mean, she's been the soft, pretty little wonderful feeling intuitive and now this is stuck to her and this is how strong she is. We just, she didn't tell us for two years that had happened until she had her life under her and she'd been retrained as a teacher for their standards, having been plenty smart here and was now really making the living and all for the kids and move to another part of England. But, um, you know, you sh she, you give up and something comes to you and something came to her and she said, I said, where do you go now that when you're just lying around too much sleeping? She said, I go to white light. And she said, well, what is that? And she said, when she had that experience, I can't do this. Wildlife came to her like a spiritual thing and said, it'll be all right. You can do it. And she did it. She did it.

And um, so you know, it is not easy to turn your skin inside out and be the whole other side of yourself that's going to take the rest of your life. And all the new stuff is coming from that work. It's not coming from the top. It's coming like, ah, I can think I never felt had my buddy before. Ah, and when you can suddenly get to something easily, you never, I mean, every little thing, whether it's any of the functions is a joy that come through, you know, it's born in you all right then and you want to be on that kind of experiential track. If you can be, this is Nicole and we,

Chapter 4

Eliminating Negative Thoughts

we'll try and it's let you find your type. So this is good, you know, for this we turn and look there. So, yeah.

So which is, what do you think is first in you? I definitely know I'm an extrovert, so we can, yeah. Salmon. You Salmon. Yeah, somewhere. Salmon, Salmon. Um, definitely know that I'm intuitive. Well, what's the worst problem in your life? Is it the body so that you're always working on the body, always working on the body and, and, and it just says grindingly all the time. And what, how do you experience that? You better bring the box of Kleenex. [inaudible] um, I think it's a, a sense of, of never accepting who I am.

So grinding would probably be awkward for that because I don't think that, I don't think, no matter what I look like, that I will ever accept me as being perfectly imperfect. You're supposed to be different from what you are. Right? Well, if that's what she's saying, just in the body, just in my mind is good. I then your heart, you feeling strong and n [inaudible] and this is much harder than I thought it would be. Well it is because you really looking at, you're looking at yourself. So honestly, yeah. [inaudible] [inaudible] you will person your Helsey very, yeah, but I tend to be a hypochondriac. Okay. What age are you now at 43 Oh, see she isn't even hit yet. Yeah.

So you know the best is yet to come, but it doesn't come easily. Yeah. But do you think you're an intuitive feeler then? I know that I'm into [inaudible]. Do you feel before you think or do you, are you clear with what you're saying before? I think so. You have it, but we make, does your heart make a decision or do you have to think about it a lot? I think she's the, she's the same type I was working at us and until the feeler 43. Who else you live in with? My husband and my daughter. Any animals?

A dog and a cat. [inaudible] Nice family. No, I'm kidding. No, no, no. There are no such things. Yeah. But um, Tom Trees. Palm trees. Yeah. It's nice out here. Is anyone else picking on you for your body?

Uh, aside from me? Yeah, probably not so much anymore, but I'm definitely in the house. That's the way all your life. Maybe not all my wife school, you know, like really thin and then like gotten him really heavy and then really thin and then really heavy. And now I'm kind of in that like I need to lose 25 more pounds to get back to where I see myself as. Do you teach filets? Um, I am certified, but I own restaurants.

So good God. How could you not eat right? And I'm married to a French pastry chef. Oh. Oh. Just today. He's to blame. It's all his fault.

This is not fair because you have to be strong. You have to be yourself, right? And, um, I think it's part of you evolving. Incidentally. You look great the way you are. Hello, are you good looking woman? You're generous. You, you, your size almost gives you the sense of self comes right through with it. And I don't know we get so much if he was skinny, I mean really, you know, but you, you, this is a anonymous, this is not so much that your thinking is awry as you can think better than that, but, but there, there's a put down artists going on in you, uh, about how you are and we, all of us women have it. It is that male animus. And as long as he can, he'll put you down.

And when you no longer take it or care, uh, you know, it would ease up. He's not going to, uh, it, it's like, um, make peace with the enemy. Then there's no war anymore. Uh, you, you, uh, uh, I don't know anybody here. I certainly am always battling weight and I've never had weight, but I've never had way cause I'm always battling weight and that how many things can you have and, and only thing that makes any difference is health. If you're too skinny, it's not good. You lose too much muscle mass. You know, I've gone, I've seen that other, the wonderful diet that's not a diet, it's just clean the book clean and it just, it just helps you to eat certain foods to clean yourself so that your alkaline, um, superiority is there and not so much acid. And then when you've got that achieved, you can reintroduce eggs and dairy and cheese, all the, those things that we in bread and all those things, only 40% to 60% of alkaline and that's, that's still stay in a healthy proportion through your diet.

Well, I just uh, I got very into all the things you can eat that are not acid and, and they make it fun with smoothies and juices in and lots of good food, lots of good meals all there. And I found it very interesting and I just lost so much weight. Um, about two years ago, I was about the same size as I was at 21. And I thought, Whoa, there were hardly any hips here. It was just, Whoa, you know, some way you think, wow, you didn't even know it when you wear that. But you know, to get to that place at say 82 was pretty interesting. But, um, I lost, I lost muscle mass and you're going to lose muscle mass anyway as you age and better not from the age of 40 on your losing muscle mass every year. So a diet is iffy at the, as you get older, you probably shouldn't be doing that. Uh, but I love doing it. I mean, I just learned that made you too skinny, you know? And that's, uh, I'm not gonna live weights. I don't have the constitution or two institutional, there's nothing, it's very hard when you've been a creative mover to start lifting weights.

Maybe you could do it for me, but I don't know. But, uh, you could try it in your case and see if you like it cause it's an interesting way to eat. But I would like you to keep a journal going of what's different in you when things started to change there. And then that should be where you work from and, and whether you, who are you gonna believe? No. Uh, do you know the Italians? They have so many ask women. They always make it Rubin as women. And what are you doing? Oh yeah, because we're directly talking about it.

But the breeder of my westies t a Pearson, she's very much bigger than you and, and she's gorgeous. You know, everybody, she's so beautiful and she's just Ruben s you know, I don't think, I don't think you would want or different, you know? And when, when little dog, first one, we got the Laila, her little Westie that she'd read had been with his brother, something milk from the mom and the little, the lie was not getting any milk and they discovered that she's ready to die the puppy. And so she quickly learned how do you force feed an animal? And in between his big west, right in that crevice was where little Delilah then got to to put down and you know, it made it such a comfy place, the third row. And the only thing that wasn't comfy is that somebody sticking a tube down your neck, whether a dog or a human is not so pleasant.

So even now she's just turned five at night. Even in vegetable, I feel it doesn't feel right back there. So she's, she's always sort of investigating her pro and you're, you know, you never know where your next teacher will come from because when she was doing that one, I thought, what is it that she does? And my whole head opened up. Oh my God, that's wonderful. So I'll do that tonight. And I'm not shy. You know, the intuitive always go tight at night cause you eagle can't help you and you're back in that fear place. So better little dogs taught me anything. This world can teach you what you need to learn. What do you sleep with?

I mean, aside from my husband. Well, he went, want you to say aside from him, you'd have to say with him, with her knees on the bed, not her much, so he probably snores too much now. He's a light sleeper so I can, oh, he's intuitive. No, he couldn't be. No, he's a light sleeper. Yeah. Now like sleeper, but not, yeah, but intuit czar because we turned too much. But you're talking turn. But if I want to go to sleep, if I just want quiet, I have to go to sleep on my stomach, which isn't good for your face or for your low back. You have to really just creatively explore your body. Yeah.

I don't think it should start with I'm overweight, I'm no good at this is wrong and I'm unhappy because of, oh no. Well then you have more to work with. Turn it all around. And one man who's been depressed with me for years and usually, I don't know if there's ever an end date, he'd never been anything but defense. I don't know if he could even have the imagination to give him the ambition to try to change it. You know? And One night he was going out the door, I said, Derek, we go into the castle restaurant. Yeah. I said, why don't you celebrate your depression tonight? And they like, can we just turn the whole attitude inside out and you know, give us, it's living with you all this time and it's getting Kirsten gone now who celebrate being overweight and, and, and you might feel, you feel that you're not even as hungry if you celebrated when we have to be very open minded about how many to help myself here and anyway, we negate ourselves is not helpful to us. We're not trying to torpedo ourselves and just, that's just unfair to your body. It's a good body. It's with you.

It's keeping you here. And um, it, it, I don't know whether it wants to be, what size it wants to be. You might even have conversations with it. Yeah. But I'll tell you something. He would not believe I'd never learned this except for two years ago. I know that we have these four ways to learn. I know that they're all going on at at every moment, but I didn't know that they could converse with each other.

Independent of the ego that there is, there is some, uh, capacity that they're watching each other or know each other. It's like being four people with the fist one up top, like top of the pyramid that says I'm married. But these other ones also are there. There's, I had gone out and he'll be the advisor [inaudible] not supposed to get to. And so I fed the high thing of bird food and then, um, I thought of the war where the chipmunks live and I Barry bit puts him booted in there because if they come out to, this is a regular birthing, the catch can get them and they're so sweet. I wanted the cat scan. So, so that made me feel good. And now I'm walking back with vigor and I go prowl into that big bird feeder cause I can see it from my advisor.

Just wham is a big wooden thing. I just think all right. Um, [inaudible] done it again and um, I'd just go very calm and um, that's sad. And, and I'm still here and whether that, whether I've fallen down or whatever, I've done intuitives, they're always sort of mixed up in space. So, so you go and I go tromping into the other yard to give the chipmunks down in the corner, that yard a good, healthy, I have set them up, the whole thing there and I'm on my way and I started to just ball. Oh, I've just, I have this really great where you price them saying I'm so sorry. I used to say, you know, I've always been hitting you or tripping you and, and, and you've been there for me all these years and I, no, all they do is not even chicken une and really cry and is my feeling function, speaking to my sensate function. And I know I'm not doing this with my ego. I didn't think this up.

And I'm up in the, in the tree with my ego looking at this thing. I think this is very human. And I had never known that and I never told that to my husband because it was so sacred. A moment of enlightenment for me that I didn't want him, you know, he might say, oh, these are the head about it. And knew it was, this is my treasure. I can tell anybody else. But I do little did any say that fun, fair. And it is, but you know, it is. But just if you knew I said this, he might be ever so gentle about it, you know, but he doesn't get a chance to be so, but, but you know, you could look at it. Is it an ego problem? Um, you know, most of the things you see in, in the [inaudible] world where there's this disruption or annoyance between schools of thought and, and who's doing it right or whichever, all that stuff is usually ego. The problem, you know, because anybody without that problem knows that there are many ways to do everything and that your way is the only way you can do it.

So explore it and develop it, you know, and it, it, it, everyone is valuable. And that's one thing I didn't say when we talked about these four functions. No one is more valuable than the other in this culture. It's more that thinking is most valuable and people are in their heads and trying to make a life out of that. And it's very one sided or one quarter sided.

So, um, you, you, you have to have, if you live with a head without a heart, that's the only, that's not a knife. And a lot of people you're stuck with the head because it's just too difficult. And they think of feeling is sopier uh, not as, not real or as much? Well, I don't know. This man is so depressed. I did too. Is there anything that you love in a day that, that you know, whether it's your plans or your, there's nothing he loves. And I said you went to, to the bathroom and I said, Derrick, when he, I said, I just, I cannot imagine a day going by when I'm not loving many things, whether it's a planter or the animals or, um, just all sorts of things that you're feeling, function. We relate.

They love to just end the savings. So why, why can't you love yourself? You know, you're standing. Who feeling you using your mommy would say, well, I like my other children, but she's overweight. I don't like her. I mean, we'd have, we mother ourselves. What kind of mother are you being to yourself? You know, I mean, um, actually I did have a grandmother. Um, she had three cats and each of the kids had a boy and a girl. And um, the other two girls grew up in Boston with my grandmother and they're very, very skinny, anorexic skinny, but they're not anorexic then. And I would come to visit and, um, I think I was probably about 12.

I'd probably just hit puberty and she was like, what's wrong with you? You're overweight. Look, your cousins, you should look more like your dad. So I think it's just an awful grandmother. Mostly grandmothers are nicer to you than your mother is. So that's a bad, bad mother. No. Well, she's gone to Boston or something. She's done. Yeah, she's gone anyway. Yeah. Well, but she's in you, she's partly talking to you is to no do service or something and then light a candle and be done with the grandmother. That's the grandmother more than it's you probably. Yeah.

And she was in sorority figure at that point. You know, who knows who they are at 12. Anyway, you know, you wouldn't, she's a mean, mean grandmother. We just, everybody say something about that grandma, they make it sound. My mom wasn't that child that Mike left. She came here and moved to the west coast and she's opposite. But she loved you. Yes. Yeah. And that's why you're so positive. Yeah. But, but you haven't really mothered that place in yourself that puts you down or could he have he get out, you know? No, I'm talking about this part of a woman that we call the animus that maybe all the way up to 40 or beyond it, the critic of yourself where you're always thinking you're not enough. And I'm shy and, and, and uh, if anybody ever knew you very well, you see me now?

I mean all this just a down pudding and, and you'll do that because that's what men did for so long and they like to be in control and the animus wants to be in control of you. He's worse than the men out in the world. Now. There are lovely men out in the world now ready to be female and male. And then if they listened to their feminine self, that's a new man that the world needs. You know, they don't need more of this move. No. So we, we have though, because the feminine is the thing that's been disregarded too long. The men need that in themselves and we need to be that.

And so watch yourself in regard to your criticism of yourself. Visit Nicole really is bringing that up. And I can tell you in dreams, if you remember your dreams, you get as you get a chart of how, how you were regarding yourself, when you see how the male in your dream is regarding you. And um, I would use the husband first husband as that figure as a dream. And I think by then I was coming in towards 40 it probably around that.

And he came into the kitchen. The kitchen is l chemical room of the feminine. No. So there is a assertive power you could have in there if you owned it. And, and he said something or other, I don't remember that, but it was the last straw of being not supportive. And I went into the stove drawer and brought out a big iron frying pan and I took it and I popped him over the head hard, just like an old fish wife. And I went out of the house, released free at last and, and, and he came running after me and got up to me and set into my ear. I love you.

He turned right around at that moment in my psyche and the male then was fully supported, but it took years, you know, and no, nobody was that bad to me that I could blame anyone for it. It's a part of the, the negative that we have to face before we get to the positive. And, um, this is a little early for you to, you haven't been stopped. We'll see. But usually you don't know what's wrong with you at 19. Something's wrong, but you're not going to pin it down anywhere. It's just cosmic, you know? But, um, you need to work with that animus and, and the trouble is, you see, here's the trick. The mother archetype wants us never to leave her.

You know, she's the, we're on mother earth. It is the strongest archetype in us is his mother. And if we cannot leave the mother, we will never be ourselves. And the mother and the animous collude to keep you there just to a place where you can not feel good enough about yourself to really emerge or find what, who is that that I'm looking for? And myself. So you, you might be over the mother thing, you know, but, but, but here, let's just make, make a scene then I could be full out wrong, but the opposite of what she might be, because there is a possibility that when a woman who's given up on herself, she turns into around only stone, but they have in Asia where it's just around this and it's an undifferentiated feminine thing. A lot of women have done that. And if you are mothering too much, mothering your daughter too much, mothering your husband, too much, mothering the plans, too much weathering the animals too much and it's all coming out when we have a huge mother in us, huge, you spend all day just mothering the things in your house and never mind clients. But, but I don't think you're much good to a client until you stop mothering them.

And it isn't that it's you, yourself, that is the teacher and that's where the success will be. And that's gonna be, um, you know, more differentiated and more confessional about your own shit. You know, that can be, be shared with clients. They won't say that in the old books, but the more you had trouble, the better they feel about themselves. You know, the Reed's not yes, me. So, you know, I mean, I don't, I don't hold back. They can see a functioning well, but when they hear what I went through, they can't understand how come I ever could, you know, seems worse than they are then they really encouraged.

So, so mostly it humanity. We are human beings and, and on that level, we can't make a mistake. No, we can't be wrong or right. And, uh, everything is acceptable. You personally acceptable to me? I wouldn't think I like her when she loses weight. That's your grandmother. Yeah. Who, who, you know.

No. And um, there's some beauty in it. There's, there's, uh, there's not much beauty in being skinny. You know, the woman ought to have some flesh honored, you know, it's almost like stunted women with, they're too skinny. And that's, that's an odd value, you know? Uh, but yours is ingrown in and you keep it growing. And do you need to talk to yourself out loud? Uh, there you go again. No, you go sit in the closet or I'll go put you in the freezer. You know, and if you don't behave, I, I'll do worse to you. Don't just go away and differentiate yourself against that. And because it's in good exercise and I now find that, I think this is especially good for intuitives who tend to do all the all things all the time. You have six things going on at once and, and it helps to say this is what I'm doing now and this is what I'm doing, that that's good, that's good. And he creates order out of the chaos.

So I think it also puts us on a map, even if we hear our own voice and otherwise we can deny a lot of it and just hide it and not today. Thank you. And it is very good. Open your mouth and let sound down and maybe big sound. You might get so good at another thing that you, the whole things disappeared in the meantime. He didn't, he just cannot find a rational way to deal with it. It's not rational. It's no, and if you're an intuitive and that's not rational and she has a weight problem, she thinks that's a rational, she's just irrational. And the biggest things are God to be had to be solved irrationally.

That's by spirit, by miracle, by mystery, all those things. So anything that you think, oh, that gives me power, this, grab these things, sleep with them all around you. Nobody can get to you. It's a funny thought. Yeah, but let me give you a hug. [inaudible] Jennifer,

Chapter 5

Feeling vs. Thinking

what? What type do you think you are? Oh, let's see. I would say I'm intimately, really [inaudible] bodies.

Your big problem. No, me not intuitive. That could be second. But you know you don't, you, you know what the thing yourself is the most. That's the opposite. So that's how sometimes you discover the practical. Well, you couldn't, could you be a feeler thing? That's probably, and you know, you know the thing about a feeler that you would not expect is that there, the coal is, can be the coldest of any type because feeling is so available that you just turn it off when you're not interested. You're a friend, you just turn a friend off the vendors, you know what happened. You know, it's so easy, you know, but a rest of us suffer healing. You know, we're not so casual with it. But uh, you could be a feeling intuitive introvert or are you introverted now and you were extroverted when you were young? No, I was always introverted and I must introverted.

Yeah, because you becoming less introverted every year. Yeah, very much so. This is amazing that you can sit here like this now. Yeah. It's congratulations. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, so she was feeling intuitive, which we are taking a guess on that because she knows she's intuitive, but she's not organized enough to think she's thinking intuitive cause she, she, she's, you say you're not sure organized so that your, what is the word she used? You think she's organized? Oh, show. Now you just don't see my friend. That's what friends are for, you know? Uh, thinking intuitive. So then, then feeling is your biggest problem where your passion lies.

What is passion? What is feeling? I don't feel anything. Well, I'd certainly know what, I don't feel like I don't like that and I don't like that and I'm never going to do that. It's very clear about what you thinking, the things you don't like. And when you going after that for his function, you're beyond this now I think. But, um, you, you faced the whole thing in the negative that makes it hard to really persevere, but it's, it's like feeling negative. No, but do you, what age, you know, 64.

So she's beyond negativity and, and you, you would have, you would have earlier you then, uh, now you're taking on the buddy newly, now you starting with it. Did you, you say you were new that [inaudible] no, no, it's you. So you're five years. Good. Wonderful. So that, that was at about 58, something like that. 52 59. So you woke up finally at 59 and decided to do something for your body. Had you been in the being, doing things for the body before? Um, when I was young, I was less when I was, you know, raising kids. I hadn't, and uh, taking care of my elderly mother, I was less [inaudible].

So this is time for you to go young, right? You're going young in the buddy taking on that [inaudible] and then, and now she's going to start doing what she wants to do and nevermind everything else. We only do what you care about and you're getting the freedom. If you IB, they could do that. Isn't that wonderful? Yes. Fabulous. Yeah. That's that she comes to the best of the NDC. The best of life is coming. She, she feels she's working on her body.

She's giving to her buddy and, and uh, she feels good about that maybe than passionate. Yeah. Yeah. And now she, she be getting more expressive about it because she's going to go more extroverted. So everybody will enjoy what she enjoys cause you'll be talking about it and that's an upper for the world, you know, it's really good. And his words Ginelle you'll be healthy and happy. Long time I think. I feel like, yeah. Great. And Are you living alone or with someone now?

I've been married for 33 days. Say Man, he healthy. Very, and he's, he's enjoying his life. Yes. Is he retired or is he yeah, no, he's a workaholic. So she has house to yourself a lot. I do. Yeah. Yes. That's the bet. That's the best time. My dog and I, he said, Oh see this is getting heavenly.

Yeah. Okay. Please yourself, please. Sales. That's very good. And I'm glad we could accent that for you, you know. Okay. I just want to point out that I had Amy and Christy as teachers and they're phenomenal. Oh yeah, yeah. Shit, I don't, I don't work with Jennifer as a teacher right now. But knowing it Kinda goes back to your question a little bit earlier, how, how do we add support?

Yeah, yeah. Oh, the very, the, the question, if you working with [inaudible] we'd have to do, we have a larger audience here so we have to speak to it. But if you are working with someone or it could be just in life being with someone too, but if you have clients in some way and then the most, the most supportive thing you can do is to challenge with a sweetness, not a whip, but challenge the unconscious grows. So I think that she would want to have a lesson that feels good and, and maybe she say, I want the hard one today because today she would like to work hard or she feels like it but not inflict the teacher's way of teaching necessarily on her because knowing that she is here to feel good, she is not here to feel that there's some things she can't do and all that stuff. And you just demand it, you know, say I don't like that cause we do something different. And even though you know, you, you copping out for today and maybe at some point you've got to go do that but, but no, you should feel good every lesson. And I would, in her case it's just have her give her a good time. And I mean I had to ask but what of I see you again in the studio. No, I'm, I have a little more than one. Often if you start, if you, if I were with her knowing her type I something I just had learned that was so much fun. I want to share with her right away. And then the two of us who think it was wonderful and you know, you just have a good time together and, and not a, not a value. They can teach you a real person because she's ready to just chat and have a good time with another human being. You know, you can, you can see how hard she's worked all her life to her other people.

It's time for her now. Yeah. This year sister. Yeah. You look like you could be sisters in a way. You are. Yeah. I always adopt family. That's the best thing to do. You know better than your family. Yeah. I know.

We just had to go through some family and, and I don't know, do we pick it? Sometimes you think maybe there's some wisdom in the family. You pick her. How could you survive? Some people you can't. You can do a nine 11 you have a sisters. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. That's good. But yeah, the people that you're the closest to and very often not related to you, but that soul connections. Yeah.

Sometimes you find each other again and you know I, it's too familiar. Didn't even have to get into introduced. Yeah. It's guys that you have, it's nice that you have that. Okay. You think you're in a good spot now. That was interesting and we needed your help because she was going to let me go anywhere with her. Your name is, is, is nick? Nope. Oh yeah.

H. I. E. L. No. H. A. E. L. I. E. H. J. H. H. H. A. I. L. L. E. H. A. I would say. Huh? That's Healey h. A, I believe your hell. Haley. I could see Hailey, but Hai, I couldn't see he, but then you never know. He usually, oh, you said Haley didn't say Healey. Okay. Haley sounds like a party or you having a good time. A wonderful, you don't mind him getting dosed in psyche. Yeah. And Are you in college now?

Right around here? Yeah. You CSP, you see you, you, you university of California. S University of South California at Santa Barbara. Oh yeah. Okay. I can't keep up with initials. So which one are you hungry? Are you every one of them? Sometimes at 19 you think so?

But what gives you trouble? What gives me trouble? My mind you make, make things more complicated than they should be. Like relationships or school. And what are you, what are you going to be? She's the chair is coming. Oh, what is that you're doing, you doing into the chairs? This is the party cheer party. Do you have trouble with mechanical things?

Well, I don't usually think about it. It doesn't bother me. I guess I probably, yeah, the two that you think are, so you did figure out things, but then do you go intuitively, are you sort of in the air thinking? I thinking intuitive. I think I'm into, well I don't know if I'm thinking though cause like I'm always in my own way. Well I overthink everything, but yeah, the two [inaudible] I guess is when I know like I overthink decisions a lot, but I always choose the one that I feel in my heart, not the one. Yeah. Well that, that's the blessing of having intuition. And I think up there too, that usually that comes out right.

But if you have to analyze everything to death, that's usually first function thinking. But then then feeling would be the biggest journey of your life is to uh, become clear. And um, no, you lie. Your heart will be the generosity of your life. The thing that'd be the place you would give from. And when you were thinking that's as far as from here to China or we used to say to the middle of the earth, I mean it's the farthest thing away is, would be feeling. Well you seem to feel, but maybe you don't. Maybe you're enjoying it, kind of she reboot away and not in a, uh, huggy way or, um, do you identify with each one of us as we tall.

That's the intuitive, you know her and he me and you help us tell because at 19 she, yeah, yeah. You can cry and tell us we don't. Yeah, it, it, you think it might. And then she an intuitive thinker in intuitive thinker. So the body then is really, she's not quite in it. I mean he, yes, if you're an intuitive thinker, you really smart, really smart. And so everything I said in the last couple hours, you understood or you got it, it was not Greek. So, um, but that means both intuition is in the air. You know, there's a couple, we don't even know how we got this out there and thinking is in the air, like an airplane. All the ideas are up off the ground. So what she's really good at is being off the ground.

But she's smart enough to know that she needs to ground. Yeah. So there's where, that's why you come and you can, I was so many years like that I could, I could do everything. I could do any it, any exercise. And I know I couldn't mimic anybody. Um, but I was not in the body and uh, I couldn't be, do you think you hold your breasts quite a bit? It see, yeah. And it's just like, uh, that's, that's because it's frosty, frozen and scary. It's scary as hell. It's hell down there in the body. And that's where what we're, we really live that the poor body lives there. Think of it, we live out here in this world and the rest of the functions are sort of available to the world. And then there's a poor orphan seeing that we have to go and save feeling.

It will be the least active problem. But, but you're, you're not needing to do much with it cause it sits in a place that's just fine with itself. But 19 don't worry about it. When you get into a relationship and you're gonna, you're gonna attract and you'd be attracted to the sensate [inaudible] and maybe even a sensate feeling, just like a hunk of beautiful meat and, and, and, and, and you, you could and then, and then he, he uses you first thinking and he uses you for his intuition and you use him for his body and all this sweet, sweet, all the process stations of love that he's capable of. I mean, and that's the only, and that's half of you becoming whole when we see you have to let Kristy tell me when you get madly in love with someone, 19 is young, but I'm in nuts. Never too young for anything. But are you leery of that? You are you shy? He asked them now like I was never shy when I was little.

And then I think I got quiet. Like I had to get to know people but I don't the lie, well I knew. Did you see when she thinks about it, she cuts her feelings right off. We remember that thinking has no feeling when we go to the head. There is no feeling and and feeling really has no thinking.

They just are and one cannot live to get them. If you are a thinker having to go to the funeral, that, I mean, that's, I think the hardest person to be is the thinker because you, if it's at the bottom, it's absent so much of your life and how people marry. But I mean the partner must feel they're cold a lot of the time. I wonder how the kids are growing up with a mother who's a sinker. I don't know if they get the affection they need, you know, it's just not there yet. Depending on when you have the kids, then you can't fault the person. It's just not there for them. And yet you, you marry young and you have a lot of kids. I, me, you're not gonna need to begin. Get to the lower functions to hear 40 you know, it's, see you're struggling with it and you do your best, but it gets better. We get better about everything.

The older you get, don't be afraid to grow. Yeah, I don't think I am. Well, you don't even, you don't even need to think about it. She's still, she thinking about every day. Yes, she's singing about everything. That's fine. Just enjoy yourself and your life and, and you know, don't worry, don't worry. When life comes and gives you problems, then you just work on them. But you have to work on them in advance. You, you've lived your whole life through by now. Now you did.

But then, I don't know if it's so different when you did I get all kinds of like feelings. I, I honestly, I don't know if the dead are very, very far apart. I think this room may be filled with dead people that are supporting each one of you, whether it's via relatives, because I mean, one of my clients was 23, this Annie, this great one who's doing all this stuff now with, with children and Paul homes. And um, she came to me and she said, I'm very frightened. I've had a dream and you have to help me with it because it scares me. And I'd hadn't heard this before from him. I said, well, what is it, any, she was planning to come and live in one of my cabins because they moved too far away from our area and that we're living in Vermont. And uh, she had nowhere where to say, I said, you can stay in one of my cabins.

So she said, I had this dream that if you go to sleep and Mary Bowen to Kevin, you'd better be prepared to meet 11 little girl ghosts. And he's very psychic, you know, she's scared by that. And she said, please help me. I said, well, any, all I know is that the symbol and the dream of the feminine is the cat. And I said, I will see how many of my cats I buried since I've moved into this house. So I was naming off my cats and I'm sick. That seminar, I got two 10 cats and then there was a stray that came into the woodshed, lay down in a cardboard box and died for me to Barre. Wanted to be, here's where it then, you know, exactly 11 cats out there buried.

And I said, well, you told me something. I didn't know any. I didn't know that they stayed. I would've thought that all gone or been reordered. That was the end of that. They, they stay where they've been loved so totally and all those spirits are out there. And, um, I think that then, then the next one of my really lesbian client, so big and strong, like a king queen of Lesbian isn't. And she said she stood with that for all of New England and, and, and she was like an oak street.

And she came and she talked to me and she didn't need a me to say a thing. She didn't needed someone to listen to her. And she was totally in charge of her life, you know, and, and um, but she really was psychic. She was so sensate that she could go quite psychic. And she was watching me like a hawk too. And at that point I had 11 cats and they were all coming in the car back and forth and the dog and all the ice chest in suitcases and Alex tool, like a little caravan every week. And, and there's this one session, she said, it takes 11 cats to keep you in your feminine.

And I was going so strong, you know, and it really was, it gives the cat that taught me what time in it is. I was going just like a train, you know, uh, maybe I'm calling the trains today. So, um, you know, there will be a helper always by you dead or alive always. You will never be alone and you may have to feel lonely and maybe every relationship breaks or something. But there are more health helpers. And we know that day were not my, my studio did not burn down. There was help from some unseen force at that point. You better believe it.

There was no way that, that if the timing with not it just amazing. So I not at another Pollyanna about it and I'm not absolute about anything except I just, I knows there's help and so you don't have to worry about a thing. You're beautiful, you're intelligent, you have your whole life behind, um, behind you. We just celebrate you and we wish you wish you a beautiful good life. And you know, you know that it's this one and it's, are you sort of introverted more than extroverted?

I mean more, I mean, she, you can talk when you're with someone that, that, you know, and you could just talk your head off her butt, but you know, you respond to everything which you did today, but you're not a talker yet unless you're on your own subjects maybe, which was what would that be a subject that, but just get you teaching us everything. You know, is there anything you're passionate about is subject. Okay. Yeah. She's going to be a teacher. Yeah. Yeah. And, and you know, you have to talk when you're bloody is teacher. You can't it without talking and it flushes out more introverted than you'd ever believe. So that'll do it. But all right. Um, feeling would just come in, but be aware that that's, that will be a point that you will have to work on. Sometimes your body just in charge, it's going to always make sure you don't forget it.

Get into it at 19 is excellent. Yeah. And um, this one is a bridge to this one. So if she's, if she loves what she's doing, she'll just do more of it. And you get so good at it, you'll be amazing. But, but you know how long, how long it will take, take. You maybe could take you 15 years to 20 years to say, I mean, my body or even 25 years, don't, don't ever lose patients because you can't be where the teacher is teaching you. You can work towards it. And as a teacher, you would always hope that, um, uh, e you want to get her into her body, but you want to do it with the heart, you know? And I mean one time that's, if I'm stuck with someone years and they can't get into the body, I give him something so hard that I could always not do it.

These leave him in a position where they're in such a terrible place that they have to feel the body. Now I say, do you feel it? Yes, but because it's just, you can't go in deep enough. You knew I wouldn't worry about it. It's natural to, uh, you know, you probably bump into things and, and um, you know, you don't see space. Always. Truly, you don't want you feed enough and always be, we love with your feet. Watch your feet, feel your whole foot, feel the ground. You'll be safe. You could always be in trouble with his feet. They go right off their own way.

So, all right. You get, you get the hang of it, you know it, but you can't be it. You're gonna work your whole life to be what, what you already say you are. I mean, this is an interesting, I would give up being an intuitive, but it's a hard life for the body. Be Good to Your Body, pee when you need to be. Don't wait, you know, and, and speak to your body just like you. What do you doggy? How are Ya honey? Good. Good leg hood, leg hood, arm. You honestly, it's, it needs love. All right. Yeah. Yeah.

Chapter 6

Find Your Breath

I think I am an overthinker. [inaudible] is what's your age?

38 yes. She's ageless. Very hard to pin an age on you. Yeah. 38 coming very close to, to her, taking on the more the underneath of you be replays. You feel that at all that that something, uh, more of you it Sunday trying to be, what is your work now? [inaudible] he ooh. Oh yeah. Well I teach our teacher training organization. I teach for Bassi Oh, for the applies anytime. Yeah. And I also teach people. And what got you into this? Oh, Audis. Yeah.

Um, I would, uh, I had a knee injury. I cause I was an athlete and I hurt, I hurt my knee skiing. And so, um, yeah, I was sent two bodies for Rehab. Fell in love with that. And who is smart enough to send you to [inaudible]? Um, a girlfriend of mine recommended it. It wasn't a doctor. I liked it, but it was a girlfriend of mine who is a dancer who told me that I should try and I think I'm pretty intuitive. I would say you guys can help me. [inaudible] we think maybe she's a thinker, but is it, what do you think Chrissy? Um, she's just, she's fourth functions, intuitions [inaudible] but she's also, she's a little unusual as well.

I think, you know, it's hard to place that percentage or the order. I do think your intuitive, I think you're a feeler. Um, okay. So, so she would put it to complete the other and, and uh, that, that the plot is, is being through the thinking and the body and, and that, uh, you know that if you turning into the thinking and the Sensei and the, she sees you starting as an intuitive feeler and, um, now when, when was that around? When I say go through your 20s and now are you living with someone? [inaudible] how long and she going well, Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah. [inaudible] because you're coming into the soldier a few years. Be careful. I don't know.

Yeah. [inaudible] if, if, if he, if you, if you shouldn't, you husband is shorted. You still do. I wonder if he's interested. You'll get back here. Don't you go away? What hasn't is definitely interested in what mi are really investing. He's an introvert and you're an extrovert. I don't know that I'm an extrovert too. Andrew to say that he's the extrovert and I view the introvert and he's next year and then he will, he will wander that he already knows. He has a good saying and they, where would you place him?

That's often very interesting when you want to look at if you know the husband or the spouse or the wife of the male, you also know you're dealing with an opposite and um, that helps you also with where would you challenge the unconscious? So if we have you as an intuitive feeler, we would have him as, as, as Christie Sensei thinking and how many times have you said that Ashley and I are so much? Yeah, yeah. [inaudible] things just are, and it's practical and uh, and they've got, they're grounded and they can do one thing at a time and you're all scattered. Oh, with any man than he may be a thinking intuitive. I think so. [inaudible] and he, he's just can't, he can't get organized.

I'm way more organized than me. Yeah. That's what, that's where were you always more organized? You always needed, needed up your room and things were in a row. And all the toys and everything where, well that's not an, it's not an intuitive feeler that's an intuitive thinker and, um, or we could have it backwards. I mean she could be the thinking intuitive and he could be the intuitive feeler, but is he physical, very physical and, and um, does he fix things that break the order automatically or he yeah, he's not, doesn't like dog things and like to build things. I think he's pretty handy. I don't think he had a lot of opportunity to build things, but I think that he could if you wanted to. Okay.

Is he sort of like, is he not very ambitious? Yeah, he got me. Might not be very efficient. Well, it means not very ambitious. You may be the, the uh, either the intuitive thinker or the thinking intuitive and he could be a sensei feeler and, oh boy, can he have a nice time doing almost anything that that might be hit time. [inaudible] when we were talking about her [inaudible] not connecting with the body, is that really what gave you that injury? That you could do everything. You could image, it could be good at any sport. I was that way too, potentially, but I wasn't in the body, so wasn't there. Oh very well. I'm trying, I'm working towards being more in [inaudible] body.

Klutzy Klutzy yeah, she's intuitive. Secret in I think. Yeah, and he's probably sensei feeler now. Who does that remind you up? You know, it's, it's the opposite. It's a direct opposite. You can see why the unconscious is so smart that it shows you other side. You Fall in love with it thinking it's that person, but it's really you.

Then after five years, do you love that person? That's not exactly what you've been in more than five years. So you, you do you have differentiated your two different selves. Is he very patient with you or does he, he doesn't. He thinks it's funny that you thought c he thinks you funny and yes, and when he comes in the room, you all go ditzy and sort of, that's when something drops, but when you're alone, you perfectly fine. No, I'm [inaudible]. It doesn't make me go to Etsy. Yeah. Then he might not be a sensate few.

He could be a feeling center. Is He, is he, is he very, um, is he very sweet? Yeah. Oh, okay. Oh, and any he'll, he's like a woman in his feeling is like a man in the Sensei, so he makes it okay as a male, you know, um, it's harder. My poor dad was it introverted, feeling intuitive. That's not easy to be in this male world. And he, he was teased a lot, but he didn't, he was so big a soul. He didn't mind it. But my uncles, you said usually you can make a walk that will last over the winter and he's out there trying to save the cottage and make well, and they just always picked on him. And then when he wasn't there, they said, you're, they insult him for to me to get me crying.

These are the uncles who had no where near this all my father had, so they had to pick on him. That's life, but okay, so he's a puppy dog or a good horse to ride or, yeah. Yeah. All right. Alright. Specific, I've always been called Freud's delight because at the time I was little, I said things that were sexual and didn't know it and I didn't know at that time either. So, all right. So, so that then he's grounded and um, you just, you, you're very, very smart into very, very almost too smart for your own good. So, so, um, they then, if he's extroverted, you grow yourself in any way. You're trying to grow through the relationship with him. You couldn't grow alone. I mean, all these people would help you, but really close in, you need to express through him all your beauty and your shit and everything. And he has, he's this receivable that, and he's a good nature. He'll take it, you know. Uh, but he, he, he can be fine even on his own. I mean, he can have a good time just being on his own.

Yeah. Well we'll have to wait awhile too. You're maybe going to get to the place where, um, you down on yourself a little, how many takes, I don't know. Everything's cocking around. And He, sometimes you wonder, this is a strange thing to say, but you wonder if someone has to accept a problem in humanity, no matter what it is, someone has to accept carrying that. And if they really have done that that place, then it's more open to everybody else. But otherwise it's just a sort of spinning world problem.

And it could be that, uh, because of what went before, when I, when will I was with, we were, it's was hard to say which one of us who are suffering more, which one of us was really dead ended. We felt more and we, when we tried to share that with each other, it was so funny. Then you just die, you hysterically laughing because you know, there was one that swore he is having the hardest time. And indeed he did. He was, because he's dead now. Nobody else's to have gone to now. I recently went, but he, he was orphaned. He really had a bad as to you. Um, but maybe she won't to have to, to um, maybe being a body's teacher just graces you for the body. So the always in touch with it, if you teach it, you also get something bad.

But I would say the number one problem for all p all teachers, certainly a [inaudible] because it's about the body, is that they don't take care of themselves. They giving, giving gifts and, and do not have private lessons enough, do not have enough time for their own practice enough and we get really worn out. Well, you have to be careful. That is that, that's the most common thing you will see. And it's not that they look bad, it's just that they're starving for attention for the film themselves or anybody else to take them to the next point. You know? And um, being an introvert helps you because you need people to grow through. And if you're an extrovert, you don't think you need anybody until you sit alone. And it is, you just get so depressed for yourself, you know, how is the poor person you are, you haven't visited that person for so long.

I mean, how many lessons you've, you had 10 every day or something. It was like that for me and my fifties. Yeah. No, but I still got it going. So when he had to get it going through New England because he said Lydia had to do it. So, um, but the fullness of your body, you very paid for a little weight. Okay.

Is it easy or you see, because she is, well she, she's is heavy. You problem. She's going to have the other problem cause she's never not going to work, you know, so it's, it's, she runs slim, but you know, you, you look at women, most women and you're good with that example. Most of them, you get them narrowed down enough so that you're looking at it. They're a woman.

This is trying to be a woman from the waist down. They're a woman. No, this is anatomical. There's a child from the waist up and all the way up into the neck is, is a little girl that didn't have it took a big breath yet. The, I didn't really have much in way of best to like till they went breathing, finding one and breathing. I grew them later in life is there's no way they could come in with no, you should try. Yeah, it's, I mean, I would, I'll tell you, I don't mind telling you she has no, maybe I shouldn't tell this to the world because it's too funny. It's been made.

It's been made into a myth which then takes on its life and it gets, it turned away from what it was. And then it's the myth is a myth about Maryville and now, and you can say anything you want to say about me. So I would still confessional that. I just, um, I get in teaching mode and I, it's all a good story. I like to tell a good story. I don't mind if you're telling me, but at one point George said to me, come into my private quarters, uh, he wanted to look at my back. And so we went in and inside, it's sort of like a small studio that trying to be home. It's got a few machines in there and there was a table and he said, if you won't mind, take off your top please. And you can leave your panties on.

So I'm down to just a hundred underwear and he says, would you get on the table on, on all fours? I want to study. You're back a minute until I'm been down there. And uh, alright. He said, I see, uh, you know, I thought he said you could have been a contortionist as, as she saw something unusual in the low back. And I said, well, that's interesting. And I stood there bare breasted in front of him and my ability, and I probably, I probably in 32 or 33 when married, since I was 26, everything works, but there are not reading, not reading. So, uh, I would have looked at that little girl and said, you need to take some big learn. You need to yawn, you need to get more like a dog and a cat. And he just said, it's a shame you didn't develop. He [inaudible], he loved breasts. He, he loved boobs. It has everything, all parts of a woman. That's what he loved. And so he's looking at this little thing and, and I have 32, eight that point and end. He said, you know, it's just a muscle. But I said, at first I said, oh, Geo, I was my father, my father's little, this girl, his last little girl and was just, there was no incentive to growing up. I had the best position in life and old family. And, and I said, my sisters are very full. So they both have very beautiful, well, it's just a muscle. He said to me. So that was, I mean it was funny about him and it was, it was funny about, it was funny that I can tell it so freely, but, but um, he would've had I been a different sort of woman, he would have fooled around with a woman, but there is no way this, this little bestie thing is gonna think, think that she's more in a sense the men I came with the thing, I was more like a nun, you know, so there is too much innocence and I was not like I could go and get any guy once I was out three that I was at, Sensei was in, you know, and I was helping to bring it in. But that's a guy placement.

There's one thing I haven't said that fourth function in all of us women is male. We mail in the lower functions and where it has a masculine active, uh, with, because the male, it'll be an active card. And so with you as an intuitive thinker, your Sensei, feeler is as a good, good dog. A big good dog. The one who don't, you want to, where is this dog? Where is he, you know, and just, um, but because it's male, it doesn't, oh another way. It's why it doesn't leave us alone, you know, cause he's all about action. What does it men, the female in the male is passive cause feminine in itself is passive male is active. Now we're all both. Are we still active? Does it hold the chance to really feel female?

That's a question you should ask yourself when you apply this teacher. We're very mailer, except we're doing it so sensitively in with so much feeling that that we making it female to male, but it was all men. What wasn't so many women back with Joel. Hmm. No, but it, it doesn't mean because there are other women, it didn't necessarily very, very female and being supportive, putting themselves as women because you know, you want to be doing show no all the time. That's like the little guy wants to go. No, Dylan's believe, believe me or not, that is huge in us in America is huge. That we're, we're pretty male and, and it's a challenge to so men, but, but, uh, it American man I think is a challenge too because this country is in a astrology, cancer is over. The U s cancer is the mother.

All the men tend to be mother dealers and want their wife to be mothering them and energy just as charming and delightful little boys that never grew up, never, never, ever quite take on the whole man thing. And, and we put up with that, um, or not, you know, um, sometimes you know, it, it is, it is it a very American scene. You don't get that in Europe. So my second husband's is very male because from England and England rule the world for a long time and they still think they do. Until you see today, the news is so adorable, you gotta make him mad at him. Hmm. And, um, he feels like a man because I could man, no age man.

But, um, it's, it's dangerous because it's seriousness of purpose. All the things that you are very aware of. You, you, you're carrying all that stuff for him. And being in a profound thing, but you without him, you might've been too profound and too serious and, and almost even depressed a little. But he keeps that out of you. He keeps life entertaining. Probably my little, you can't be depressed when you live with westies. They just funniest things you ever saw. Always amusing you in themselves, just so abusive, heavy. It's just, it's very helpful.

But I mean he's, he hope you go. I was intended to marry for life. You know, I think women do. I think we married for life and he, if he's smart, he'll grow as you grow. [inaudible] but she can't make it. Girl, was it, you were told at the break that when when I, I had to help my first husband very much because of psychological problems, so I had to always be supporting him. And then finally it, when he really went alcoholic, not all the time, but periodically. Um, that's just the deep mother problem. And, and he was so bright that he only reached for more, but he was undermined by the mother problem. And I remember just looking, I said, so someone said to someone, the stay, I looked from one room to another.

And so I'm standing there and I knew in that moment you can never live that man. One odor above his own soul level, what he was living out he had. And then, you know, and, and uh, it didn't make sense to me, you know, to be, to, to have, to have a Jekyll and Hyde side, but it was who he was, you know, and I had a dream that told me who told me years before I could express it or just still it. I had him, he put in toast two pieces of bread in a toaster and he toasted them. They came out nice and warm and Tan and he put the butter on them, you know, to melt. And it's turned those dry sides together instead of the buttered side together. And I knew he was [inaudible] that one side.

I did not see what the other one did. And that was a real problem to live with. But that's where he was, you know, and he taught me everything I needed to know in order to understand the depth of the problems. A psyche can, can just, uh, you have to accept it. You know, he taught me, I could never have been taught that in school, what I learned with him. So life is never a mistake. It wasn't a mistake to marry him because it was, it was exactly all the stuff I needed to learn. But you sound honeydew is good. And, and you know, if you had, if you had feeling sensate male, you'd never want to get rid of him. I think it's too comfy.

But you might be supporting them itself point and a no going way beyond the level which he could make money or something it without the ambitious and then, then you have to be willing, okay, I'm the moneymaker here. He's the one that's good with the house. You know, it's not easy, but it's all wacky in American now because removing her coming out and working so hard and so the male in them is growing and the men often are going in. And, and finding the feminine side and, and the holdings upside down. And, and I have one very, very rich woman and she's alone and she gets old. She's learned to be alone and that's it. She's good at home. But there are times when it really hits her and this woman is quite lovely.

Loki, very rich. She could've had thousands of men as a partner. I mean this is the most available had she been willing to take on any one like your man who could love her to death for the rest of her life. Give her everything she was not getting, but he would have to have money. She was not going to be, and she had all the money to do that.

Not gonna to look at a man who could not need her money. She was not going to be used for that. And she, she lives with that law really where money came so far first that she wouldn't let herself love anyone. [inaudible] it is a lot of people and she's living that life well now she's did the recovered alcoholics 30 years, the trials last week. [inaudible] alcoholic. That's a lot to get over. You know, sometimes they're rich, rich people are, are likely to be alcoholics cause they can get everything we want. Hm.

Do you have any problems like that in your house? Does he have any physical problem of drinker? So you're just in having kind of a human heaven and you doing what you love to do and you curse because you, you can't read yet because you're intuitive too much and you're off the ground too much with your head and your intuition that's not good for your body. And so you're trying to give it to others, hoping you get it back and, but I would love you to a whole half of the lesson beyond yawning. I would challenge you to, to start everything you do with Aeon so that you are grounded for that instant and you [inaudible] yes. So you're good at it. When you learn more ways to, you don't just you on, you look at it with your intelligence, your intuition. Look at where it's going. Look at it. It's, it's going all the way to your toes.

It's going to your hair follicles is every part of your body is experiencing a release. When first he goes into a kind of tightening like isometrics and then there's an explosion and then there's the release in the big red and then there's an exhale or not. Let it, let the breath go as long as it wants. And then you have found new to gear you, you have no agenda. You cleared your mind, you've cleared your body. That's a brand new start after a really good yarn at an absolute star, you can't find a drug that can do that. You can't find liquidy can do. You can't find anything equal to that.

All the animals are doing it all the time and we don't give us to ourselves. And you and I needed it most because we can live without breathing. Yeah. No, never known it anyway. I mean, but did your mother ever tell you how you were produced as a child? What the Labor was like at all? Did she ever tell you fast, fast. And what had she done that day? Ah, compunction. Huh? Well, yeah, but, but maybe was that what, who, what is her type math thinking, thinking you said today?

She says two very strongly male functions in her mother's first and second. So she determined that. And My mother was, was my type in to the feeling, but I was the third child and it's seven years since she had done it again. My father just wanted a third daughter and he was, uh, he was a beautiful soul and he was in world war one. He could not go fight. He had to say he was a conscientious objector and that was criminal at that point. You had to go against the trial to convince him that you were real.

And he did that and he was accepted as that. He, he was sent to the Red Cross to France to build houses for the displaced persons, you know, but, um, just this really, really hard to, to keep it hard to establish the right to be there at that time. Well, um, my mother walked all day long in the department stores in New York City until she went into labor. She, this was the day, no, that's why I say, was it you or was it her and, and, and she called the doctor and she said, I'm ready. He said, I'll be right there. And she had agreed to to have me in the Salvation Army hospital because he liked to give a business. So I was born in the Salvation Army hospital in 10 minutes and this, and I don't think I had anything to say about that and I think I haven't caught my breath since then. And the, and the intuitive on top of that just determined you just going to go like, oh, like it's shoot, shoot out and it's a race and I always felt that receive you have any, any, see a thinker is a little different, but I always felt that there were a pack of dogs at my heels pushing me on all the time. Like there was no time to sit down. [inaudible] yeah. Yeah. It's a very, very different for most other people as the life they intuitively live. It's so packed with things to do and things to think about, things to take care of. You are in a race.

You have to learn not to be in a ways. And I think, well, how do you take a whirling top and stop it? It has to unwind. That's, that's our job until [inaudible] 60 when I really could yawn and stop the whole damn thing. We have finisher and she has the rest of her life. They laid it out. And good luck in blessings to everybody who's watched this thing may have gotten a little bit for yourself. We hope out of this, it will start you thinking maybe more about why things are hard for you. And while the things are easy, maybe we'll give you more patients with either your husband or your wife or your one child or another who is so different for you. You can figure them out. You know, we can't help how we warn and we need to be accepted for who we are and how we are. And, and a little help and acceptance would do well and a lot less.

You would do well for each one of us. So thank you for listening. [inaudible].